Whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee, dealing with heartbreak is never easy to do. Regardless of the reasons of the breakup, when the relationship is over, you need to nurse your wounds so you can move on. Here’s how to handle a heartbreak.
- Stop the blame game. Stop listening to the tapes in your head of all the should’ve would’ve and could’ve. It’s over and that’s that. There’s no use going over and over again how you could have done things differently, or what a stupid jerk he was. Evaluate the relationship and see what you did wrong and what you learned from it, then let it go. It may take some time, but you need to do this.
- Accept the situation. Stop deluding yourself that this is a break and not a breakup. Enough with the fantasies that your ex will come crawling back on his hands and knees. It’s not likely to happen at all so move on. This is where you are now, so you have to start thinking of things to do to take care of yourself.
- Don’t stalk your ex. Handle your breakup with dignity! Stop calling then hanging up or following him around. You need to physically distance yourself from him to make yourself move on. It’s hard to stop thinking about him, but it won’t help if you keep going to your favorite haunts together with the hopes that you’ll “accidentally” run into him.
- Change things up. Get a makeover! Redecorate your space the way you really want it. Take down your pictures together and either pack it away or burn it. Remove all visual reminders of your ex so you can move on. Start a new routine, such as jogging after work since you can’t hang out with your ex anymore. Take an art class or enroll in a continuing ed or personal enrichment class. Do something different to help define your new life.
- Journal your feelings. All those feelings have to go somewhere. Instead of fighting with your ex or constantly crying about it with your girlfriend, write it down. Whether it’s happy, bad, sad, depressed or angry, write down your feelings. If you’re musically inclined, you may even get a song out of it.
- Channel your energies. Have a lot of anger? Take a kickboxing class! Feeling depressed? Go out and volunteer at a local shelter. Feeling frustrated? Go to the gym or run that excess energy off! Get over yourself and do something good for others. You’ll soon realize that your breakup is not the worst thing to happen in the world. You’ll swing from being depressed to having bouts of passionate energy, so learn to channel this so you can be productive. If you exercise every time you get angry and think about your stupid ex, you’ll have a hot body and better health to show for it at the end of the day.
- Go out. You may not be ready to go out on a date, but you should be able to go out with your friends. Don’t stay home and mope! Get out there! Just because you don’t have a man now doesn’t mean your life has ended. Focus on your work, family, friends and other things that bring your pleasure and joy. Avoid hooking up with a new man, since any guy after a major relationship is likely to be a rebound man.
Give yourself a month for every year that you were together to get over
your man. It’s going to be a long and difficult process, but you can do
it if you take care of yourself and focus on what’s good for you.