Jealousy is a natural emotion but it can destroy relationships if allowed to get out of control. If jealousy is starting to threaten your relationship or causing you to doubt yourself, you need to get it under control. Follow these steps and you can learn to handle jealousy.
- Locate the source of your jealousy. Before you get started trying to swallow your jealousy, it helps to determine what is making you jealous. Are you concerned your spouse is seeing someone else? Or have you been fighting with your best friend over clothes or shoes you both want to buy? Jealousy includes emotions of fear and insecurity, so you must find the source.
- Have an honest chat with your emotions. Sometimes you have to talk to yourself before you can start talking to anyone else. If you are jealous of a coworker or sibling, then the problem is you. So you are the only one who can solve it. Let yourself feel whatever emotions you have. When you are alone, let the jealousy rage full force so you can ask yourself what is really motivating your feelings. If jealousy is surrounding your relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend, then ask yourself if this is because they have been unfaithful or you have. Be honest so you can get to the root of your jealousy.
- Avoid tempting situations. If jealousy is inspired by the fear of infidelity, then avoid the situations where you or your partner might be tempted. Avoid the bars, parties with too much alcohol or whatever situation most inspires your fear. This does not mean you can keep your guy or gal from ever being around other people. There comes a time when you have to have trust in any relationship. Still, you can reduce temptation when possible. This works with your best friend while shoe shopping, too. If you cannot stop fighting over items you both love, then stop shopping together in pressure situations.
- Talk with your partner about your trust issues. When it comes to jealous relationships, you will eventually need to speak with your partner. Regardless of why you have problems with trust, you need to be honest about your fears when speaking to your partner. Try to make this a calm, rational conversation. If you start making accusations of infidelity or you start with yelling, then you have lost your audience and cannot resolve your jealousy.
- Let it go. If you let jealousy consume you, it will destroy your relationships - with lovers, friends and coworkers. Sometimes you have to let it go. Decide within yourself that you will give up the emotions and trust your partner or let your friend have the shoes. Whatever you do, you either bury the feelings or let them go. You cannot let them control your life and relationships.
Follow these steps to get a handle on jealousy. If you are willing to be honest with yourself and the object of your jealousy, you can get beyond it.