How To Handle the Walk of Shame

Tips to Get You Through the Morning After with Some of Your Dignity Left

It's early Saturday morning. You wake up. In fact, it's too early to wake up on a Saturday morning, but that lovely taste of last night's beer and an intense craving for water won't let you sleep anymore. You finally regain your vision when you quickly realize that you are not in your own bed, or your own bedroom for that matter. Chances are you probably don't know whose bed you are in. Suddenly, flashbacks from last nights drunken antics come flooding back into your memory. And that guy that you vaguely remember happens to be the same guy whose bed you are now trapped in. Brace yourself, you are about to do the infamous "walk of shame."

Don't worry. We've all done it, or at least we all know someone who has done it. The walk of shame is a very common weekend activity for most college kids these days so you are not alone. So if (and when) you find yourself preparing to do the walk of shame, use these tips to get through the morning after with some scrap of your dignity left.

  1. Getting out of bed. This may be the biggest challenge you have to face in the morning. Try slipping out of bed by slowly placing each foot on the floor and then almost rolling your way out. Your goal is to do the impossible; get out of bed and gather your clothes without waking the guy up. If you're lucky, he will pretend to sleep through the entire thing. Chances are, unfortunately, that he will wake up and you will both be faced with that awkward conversation and the fact that neither of you remember the other's name. Not to mention that you are now running around his room completely naked.
  2. Gather up your clothes. Now that you've gotten yourself out of bed, hopefully your partner has passed back out by now. Find some sort of clothing item to cover up until you find your clothes that were scattered around the room in a fit of drunken passion. Be prepared to face the fact that you will probably wind up leaving something behind whether it be underwear or a bra (but really try not to leave anything). Round up your jeans and try to put them on without falling over in the dark. Don't forget your will be a long walk without them. Also, try to remember your purse, cell phone, etc. You really don't want a reason to have to meet up with this guy again. Lastly, grab your shirt and jacket and bolt out of the room.
  3. Running into the roommate. This doesn't always happen, but on your way to the door you might run into the guy's roommate coming out of the bathroom or bedroom. If this happens, just smile, say hi and keep going. Hey, you're a girl on a mission.
  4. Preparing for the road ahead. Congratulations! You made it out of what's-his-name's apartment with 80% of your clothes and a few bits of your pride. Before going any further, you might want to try to tame down that "sex hair" you've got going on. Wipe the mascara and eye liner from underneath your eyes too while you are at it. Everyone will know why you are walking back to your apartment at 6:00am; you don't need to advertise it (check out dating blogs for other tips in this area).
  5. Starting the journey. First off, you need to find out where you are and which direction your apartment or dorm is in. Once you've got your sense of direction back, start making your way back as quickly as you can. You want the walk of shame to be over as fast as you can, and to be as painless as possible. Now is typically a good time to try to think about what happened last night. How the hell did you wind up doing the walk of shame? And who was that guy?
  6. You're not alone! As you are walking and are deep in thought, you might notice that you are not alone. There are probably other guys and gals also doing the walk of shame. The choice is up to can give them a smile or a nod, or you can keep walking with your head down.
  7. Entering the home stretch. Ahhh, you've almost made it! You can see your building in the distance. Thoughts of your bed (and probably going to the bathroom and finally getting that damn drink of water) fill your mind. At this point, your pace will probably increase as your goal is in sight.
  8. Home Sweet Home. As you turn the key to your apartment, you can finally breathe a sigh of relief that you made it without peeing your pants. Change out of your party-stained clothes, put your pj's on and hop into your own comfy bed.
  9. Lasting effects. Chances are you are bound to run into this guy again either on campus or out at the bar some night in the future. If this happens, it will have to be up to you whether or not you strike up a conversation with him (and possibly do Walk of Shame #2) or if you just ignore him and pretend the whole thing never happened.

So, you did it. You managed to survive the dreaded walk of shame. It wasn't so bad. However, be prepared to answer to your roommates when they finally wake up. They will want to know all the details, and will probably be able to help you fill in the details that seemed to have slipped your drunk mind. Sleep through the day, shower and eat dinner only to do it all over the next night.


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