Several reasons may be behind your choice to have an affair. No matter what your reasons for having an affair may be, there's always the option to keep it subtle and secret. Having an affair discreetly is the best way to keep things safe while indulging in your desires.
- Consider anonymous dating. The Internet is a wild place where people often hide behind the safety of aliases and made-up profiles. Visit dating websites and chat rooms and find plenty of affair-ready people. Avoid getting caught with your online escapades. Don't do this with a computer that you share with other people who know you're married, including your spouse. Do this when you are good with keeping your Internet habits private. If not, go to an Internet café far away from your home.
- Choose your affair partner wisely. Having an affair puts both of you in big trouble. Have an affair with a person you can trust. Stay away from those who tend to brag about affairs or tearfully confess to spouses. Get to know the person first and recognize signs of emotional and mental instability. To make it difficult for news about the affair to reach your spouse, choose a person who's outside your spouse's and your circle of friends and acquaintances.
- Don't be a blabbermouth. Keep the affair absolutely secret unless you will die if you don't tell another about it. If this is the case, select your listeners and make sure they won't tell on you or force you to stop the affair. A single rumor is enough to ruin everything. Never associate with gossipers and backbiters, and avoid being one.
- Prepare your encounters. Being careless may lead you to committing errors and leaving clues about your affairs. Plan for your trysts; what time you'll be meeting, what place, who's around, what you'll be doing, what your excuses will be, and so on. Meet at a time when your spouse knows that you're somewhere you're expected to be, such as at work or doing errands. Meet at a place where your spouse or her friends have never been, or have no plan of going to. Try to be in an isolated place to lessen the chances that someone may see the two of you together. Compose your excuses down to the tiniest details, and be prepared to deliver them without flinching.
- Give different contact details. If possible, don't give your real name to someone who may ruin your reputation. Never give away your home phone number and address. Have another cell phone and hide this in a secure place. Don't use your main cell phone that your spouse may check and monitor. Keep the communication channels that you use with your wife and your affair partner separate.
- Act normal. If you have a routine, don't alter it or your spouse will suspect that you're up to something. If you want to change something, such as your looks or your schedules, do this with the approval and cooperation of your spouse.
- Hide evidences of the affair. Never use credit cards during dates; the places where you have used them show up on the bill. Hide or dispose receipts, mementos, personal items and the like, that gives clues that you're spending time with another. Take a bath to remove kiss marks and wash clothes to remove the scent of your partner. Check yourself and your things and be spotless.
When your spouse is suspicious, stop the affair until you regain trust. Afterwards, think about where you've gone wrong and what you can do better next time. Hopefully, the need to have an affair goes away. Good luck, and don't get caught.