Your better half actually cheated on you? Hmm, this may be tricky, but there are ways to deal. Read on:
Determine if your relationship is truly worth saving. Okay, this is actually the most important step, because if you resolve that your relationship is worth making the effort to restore, then do be prepared to face some rough times ahead. On the other hand, if you believe that you can’t stand for cheating in a relationship, then get out fast and immediately.
If you made up your mind that your relationship can still be salvaged, breathe deeply, swallow your pride, grit your teeth, and be prepared – this will take some bit of work.
Sit down with your significant other and clear up the matter – once and for all. First of all, find out if your partner is as interested in restoring your relationship as you are. Helping your relationship survive a cheating will take commitment from you both. Are you both ready? This is the ultimate question.
Another thing to remember: it will never do to have this incident continuously brought back to life. Settle this matter with one long talk, learn from this mistake, set guidelines to ensure that this will never happen again, and move on. This will be a relief not just on your cheating partner, but on you as well – you wouldn’t want to carry the burden of unforgiveness. It’s just too inconveniently heavy.
Set rules. Here’s the catch: the rules should come from the cheating partner. If it comes from you, he might just feel restrained and might be unmotivated to follow them. Ask your partner this question: what do you think you should do so we could make sure this cheating never happens again? He should be able to contribute some clear-cut action plans. On your part, you should give rules to yourself to encourage him to keep his side of the bargain.
Resolve other issues. His cheating could be a result of some issues that your relationship is facing. Is it because you two have been growing apart for some time already? Or maybe because he feels you’re not giving him enough space? It might be very difficult to acknowledge that you have contributed even just a little to his cheating (it is his fault after all!) but again, be prepared to handle the realization that you both contribute to the well-being of your relationship. Now is the time to talk about previous unresolved issues and to create action plans to work them out.
Show your partner that you are willing to trust him again. In a relationship, it doesn’t do to always carry a hint of distrust about your partner. You can’t control your partner (nope, not even if you try), but you can control yourself. As mentioned, if you decided to give your relationship another chance, then be prepared to completely start over. Show your partner that he has your complete trust. The key here is to start your relationship again with the assumption that everything is going to work out well.
Remember that with these techniques, it’s very important that you identify if you would need professionals to help you through this time. If you can’t seem to settle issues by yourselves, you could consult with a marriage counselor, or if your partner can’t seem to help himself from the temptation of other women, he just might need some kind of therapy. It’s important to understand that you’re not in this by yourself, and there is plenty of help around.