How To Hug a Girl

From the Point of View of a Boy

Kissing boys

Giving a hug may seem simple at first, but if you are in a new relationship, hugging a girl can be an awkward new experience. If you have no idea what to do with your hands, or are always clumsy when you hug your girlfriend, here’s how to hug a girl:

  1. Wait until an appropriate time. Hugs aren’t as personal in crowded places or anywhere where people may stare at you. You may not want to hug a girl out of the blue; start with a goodbye hug, for example.
  2. Approach cautiously, yet confidently. Approach hugging slowly, making sure that the girl appears prepared for a hug. If you only barely know her, wait for later before trying to move in for a hug. Still, once it is time to move in for the hug, don’t be shy about it.
  3. Look into her eyes. This should last just a second or two; staring at her can make her uncomfortable. If you are trying to hug at the start of the conversation, ask her how her day was, wait for an answer, and then go in for the hug. Otherwise, wait until you are saying goodbye, and then move in for the hug.
  4. Lean forward. Lean your torso forward and extend your arms. The girl should do the same; if she doesn’t, pull back, at least for a split second, to make sure she wants the hug. Tape a step forward so that her feet and your feet are nearly touching. This way you won’t have to lean forward too far to reach her.
  5. Embrace her. Place your arms around her back, near her waist. Lightly pull her towards you. Her arms will usually go either near your waist or around your neck or shoulders. The hug should be firm but gentle. Be aware of where your hands are; they should not drift downwards, because this will probably make her uncomfortable. Do not squeeze too tightly, or she will feel trapped rather than embraced.
  6. Make the hug more intimate. If you have been dating for awhile, there are a few ways to make the hug more intimate. These should not be attempted if the girl is just a friend, or if you do not know her very well. If this is the case, the hug should last just a couple of seconds, and then end. For a more intimate hug, slowly sway back and forth, whisper in her ear, give her a gentle kiss, or squeeze her gently before letting go. Don’t try to pick her up and swing her around during the hug, because this can get awkward quickly.
  7. Let go. Do not make the hug last uncomfortably long. If she starts to pull away, let her go. She may relax her arms before letting go, and this is another sign that she is ready to pull away. Simply step backwards, letting your arms slide out from her sides and drop down until they rest at your own sides. Make eye contact with her after the hug, with a slight smile so she knows you enjoyed the hug.

Although you may be nervous to hug a girl, in reality most of it will come naturally. With experience you’ll learn exactly what to do. A hug can be a way to say hello, goodbye, or comfort her if she is upset. Don’t try to hug in the middle of a conversation, because this can be awkward.


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