The father of the groom traditionally has the smallest role out of all four parents of the couple, but this doesn't mean that it is impossible for the father of the groom to play an important role in the wedding. With a little effort, you can find several meaningful ways for the father of the groom to contribute to your special day. Here's how to include the father of the groom:
- Ask for help with travel arrangements. Many grooms' fathers do not wish to be involved in the little details of wedding plans, so try to find a job that the father of the groom could enjoy doing. If the father of the groom lives in the city where the wedding will take place, enlist his help in choosing hotels and other accommodations for out of town guests.
- Ask for help with other wedding planning tasks. For example, if the father of the groom is into music, ask for help finding a band for the reception. Even though he does not typically receive a lot of tasks for planning the wedding, it is perfectly acceptable to include the father of the groom by delegating tasks he may enjoy. You can assign each father specific activities, or partner the father of the groom with the groom or with the father of the bride.
- The rehearsal dinner. Traditionally, it is the responsibility of the father and mother of the groom to host the rehearsal dinner. The father of the groom can be placed in charge of some of these arrangements, such as testing the food. If he would like a larger role, ask for his assistance in planning larger parts of the rehearsal dinner.
- The bachelor party. Include the father of the groom in the bachelor party activities. If there is a bridal shower for the couple, he may also want to come to that.
- Wedding ceremony activities. During most wedding ceremonies, the parents of the couple sit in the first pew. In Jewish ceremonies, the groom's parents escort him down the aisle. This is a nice way to include the father of the groom even if it is not a Jewish ceremony. He may also want to read a special scripture. During your wedding planning activities, ask the father of the groom whether he has any special traditions he'd like to see in your wedding or reception.
- A speech. Set aside time for the father of the groom to give a special speech. This may be done at the rehearsal dinner, at the reception, or both.
- Wedding reception activities. Depending on your reception atmosphere, you may want to include the father of the groom in the monitoring of the bar. He can make sure that the bar is stocked and that it is closed down at an appropriate hour. Don't forget to make time for a special dance with the bride.
- Set aside time for the father of the groom and the father of the bride. These two fathers should be given ample time ahead of the ceremony to get to know each other, particularly if they have not had time to do this in the past.
Although traditionally the parents of the groom do not have a lot of responsibilities before or during the wedding, make sure that they don't feel left out. You can always ask the father of the groom which tasks he'd like to be involved in. Consider his interests, free time, and desire for involvement when deciding how he can be involved in the wedding.