Although the mother of the bride typically gets to have a bigger role in the wedding plans than the mother of the groom, this does not have to be the case. You can include the mother of the groom in your wedding plans as well as in the actual wedding event. Whether your wedding will be more traditional or more modern, there are many excellent ways to include the mother of the groom. Here's how to include the mother of the groom in your wedding:
- Wedding planning tasks. The groom's mother often enjoys wedding planning tasks just as much as the bride and her mother. If the two mothers get along well, invite the mother of the groom for tasks such as tasting the food and cake or visiting possible reception venues.
- The guest list. Consult the mother of the groom about the guest list for the groom's side of the family, particularly if the groom himself is not sure who to invite. Even if the guest list has already been set, she may need to be contacted for addresses for the groom's family members. You may also wish to ask her to help make arrangements for out-of-town guests from that side of the family.
- Set aside time for the mother of the groom and the mother of the bride. These two mothers should be given ample time ahead of the ceremony to get to know each other, particularly if they have not had time to do this in the past. At the very least, the mothers should coordinate their dresses, since they will both be seen in the wedding photos.
- Showers and parties. Include the mother of the groom in the guest list for the bridal shower and for the bachelorette party.
- The rehearsal dinner. Traditionally, the parents of the groom host the rehearsal dinner. The mother of the groom should organize this dinner.
- The ceremony. During your wedding planning activities, include the mother of the groom by asking about any family or cultural traditions that she'd like to see included in your wedding day. She may wish to have a special role in your ceremony, such as reading a poem or scripture. Although the parents of the couple usually sit in the first pew during the wedding, it would also be appropriate to have the parents of the groom escort him down the aisle; this is traditional in a Jewish wedding.
- The reception. During the reception, the mother of the groom should have a special dance with the groom. This may be the same song to which the bride dances with her father.
If you wish to include the mother of the groom in your wedding planning activities, be sure to consider her interest and free time. You can always ask her which tasks she would like to handle or be involved in, and what role she would like to take on during the ceremony and reception.