A song puts it, "hold on tight ‘cause life is touch and go." In a world full of strangers, it is often a wonder how people become good friends. Many best friends have already counted years of their friendship. They have survived many ordeals and differences. A friendship that has lasted this long is supposedly unbreakable, but it is not invincible. There comes a time when a friendship has to go through a huge test. And sometimes it will be the defining point in the relationship. It is a battle between staying together and drifting away from each other. There are many complex reasons why friendship falls out. Most often than not, it is pride that breaks a friendship apart.
If you are going through a significant trial with a friend, you may find yourself confused, lonely, and angry at the same time. It is either you have wronged your friend or you have been wronged by your friend. It could also be that one of you has moved away, and you both got too busy so that you have lost touch with each other after some time. You may be thinking of that friend now. How do you save your friendship with that person? Can you honestly say that you can live the same way for the rest of your life without him by your side? Is the friendship worth keeping?
Here are simple ways to keep the fire burning and to liven up your fading friendship.
Relax your pride. This is easy to say, but very difficult to do. You may ask yourself, why should I, when he does not show any remorse for what he has done. You can also say, I have not done anything wrong, why should I say sorry. In lost contacts, you might reason that the person does not remember me anymore, or I may not be as important as he is to me any longer. If you find yourself saying any of these things, you should understand that it is your pride talking. Allowing your pride to rule over your emotions will leave you bitter, confused, and filled with unnecessary baggage.
Reach out. Once you have forgiven yourself or your friend, it is time to make amends. Do not wait for the other person to make the first move. Your friend might have been waiting for your move all along.
Talk about the problem. Never resume your friendship without confronting the issue in a calm manner. If you must, write a letter to each other, and read it out loud to the other person. It may sound corny, but it could definitely heal the wounds that you have caused each other. If you avoid confronting the issue, your pain will only pile up, and you may burst out in uncalled for circumstances. Remember, you want to keep the friendship and not worsen the problem.
Laugh about it. It is often said that laughter is the best medicine. After some time, when both of you have mellowed down and renewed your confidence in each other, deliberately go back to the time when you had nearly fallen apart. Laugh about your foolishness, and promise to never let pride take over your friendship.
Friendship is a valuable thing. It cannot be bought or demanded. It comes easily, as people are naturally inclined to get "connected" to other individuals. Rapport is what creates a friendship. Love, understanding, acceptance and yes, forgiveness, are basically the ingredients to a long lasting friendship.