How To Keep Stress Levels Down During a Divorce

If marriage is stressful, divorce is more so by tenfold.  Keeping the stress levels down during divorce is important for all involved.   Be it your choice or your spouses, or a decision you both agreed upon, there will be stress.  In the United States 45.8% of marriages end in divorce, so we must find ways for how to limit the stress involved in divorce.

As angry as you are at your spouse now, you have a history and it probably wasn't all bad.  Try to keep in mind that you didn't always want to see this person hurting.  If you have children this is even more important.  Remember that this won't be a clean break; you will continue seeing them on a regular basis.  And at some point you won't be as angry as you are now.

If your spouse is angry and trying to get at you, don't engage.  As it takes two to tango, it also takes two to fight.  If you and your spouse can't talk without fighting, don't talk.  Have all communication take place between your attorneys, that's what you pay them for.  If you happen to be the one who's angry and wanting to anger your spouse, this will only stress you out also.  If your spouse is the one leaving and you are upset because you don't want the divorce, angering them will not help your cause.

Don't sweat the small stuff.  Is it really all that important in the grand scheme of things if you get the toilet bowl brush set?  Sometimes we cling to the small things just for spite.  Recognize it for what it is and don't hold things up trying to "get" the other party.  If you are trying to get family heirlooms just so you can burn them, pawn them or just hang on to them like trophies, try to think how you would feel if things were turned around.  If you truly hate golf, is it really going to be that satisfying to "win" the golf clubs?  Or will you later be angry because of the space they are taking up?

If there are children involved, please remember that children are more perceptive than we sometimes give them credit for.  But also, they are hurting too and no matter how you feel about your spouse, your children love their parents and don't need to hear the details of the situation.  The longer your divorce drags out, the longer it will take for your children to come to grips with the new situation.  Children should be on a need to know basis, when they need to know, tell them, but keep your emotions in check.  Don't use your children as pawns or as messengers, "tell your father..., tell your mother..."


Share this article!

Follow us!

Find more helpful articles: