So, you are looking to kiss the person of your dreams, and you know it is your one chance to make that lasting impression that a good kiss can make. The anxiety can be paralyzing and result in stiff lips, busted lips, painful teeth-on-teeth contact, or just general sloppiness. So, how do you kiss and impress with that kiss?
- The first step is to be passionate, but not over-eager. If you are looking for the dramatic, Hollywood-style, Rhett Butler grabbing Scarlett and kissing her with the force of a car crash, you are wrong. Kisses can be forceful, but also need to be gentle. Injuries to the lips, teeth, or gums are likely to leave an impression, but not the one you are looking for.
- Now that you are passionate, whether it's because you are REALLY into the person you are about to kiss, or if you are trying to play a convincing Romeo on stage, trying to win Juliet’s and the audience’s hearts, the next step is making sure to learn the location of your partner’s lips. This is important because of the next step. Do not go in not knowing where the lips are, thus meaning you need to take your time. Feel free to gently put your hand on your partner’s face or neck, this will help ensure that you are able to hit your target. Missing your target and hitting the nose, eyes, or just half of the lips and part of the cheek makes for a funny situation, but hurts your chances of impressing.
- So, you feel passion in your veins, but are restrained so that you do not break you or your partner’s facial features, and you know where you intend to kiss. You may or may not have a hand in place on your partner’s face or neck. Now, it’s time to start the lean and eyes-closed. As you come in for the kiss, slowly and gently close your eyes. Kissing means more when you take away the sense of sight, thus eliminating some outside distractions. You do not want to clamp down your eyelids, otherwise you might look like you are wincing or just not enjoying the thought. That would again ruin your ability to impress.
As you lean in, unless you have already talked with your partner on how you want to be kissed, it is important to keep your tongue in your own mouth. If you come in with mouth open and tongue charging forward like a battering ram, you will get stopped. The kiss will be ruined. The moment will be gone. So, for optimum flexibility, leave your lips relaxed and slightly apart.
- Once you make contact, use the muscles in your lips to rub against the lips of your partner. The use of the bottom lip is vital. Do not stiffen your lips, but keep them slightly tensed to match the pressure you receive from your partner. If you are too relaxed, they feel like you are not enjoying it. If you are too stiff or forceful, you seem too dominating and not willing to share the experience.
- As you are in the middle of your kiss, if your hand is not already on your partner’s face, now would be the time to move it there. Gently rub your partner’s face, the thumb is your best bet if you have your hand on your partner’s cheek. Use one hand on the face or neck, and the other hand sliding gently up and down your partner’s arm or other appropriate location. You do not want to cross any lines and go for the rear or other erogenous zones if this is a first kiss, or early in the relationship.
- As for whether or not, or when, to use tongue, that depends on the flow of the kiss. If it is a quick kiss, obviously sliding a tongue in there is not appropriate. If it is a long, drawn out, passionate, deep kiss, and your partner has not strictly forbidden it, you can slowly work the tongue into the kiss. Do not try to put all of it in your partner’s mouth. Use it to flick their lips, slide it along their lips gently, and try to touch their tongue. If they are okay with it, you will find their tongue meeting yours. If not, go ahead and pull it back and just enjoy the basic kiss.
Kissing is the first step of your physical relationship. If you respect the other person and want the relationship to work, it is vital that you show that respect through the entirety of the kiss.
For men, when you kiss, I suggest you use the hand on the face, and gently stroke with your thumb. You have to be firm, confident, and gentle all at the same time. You cannot use a kiss to sneak a trip to second or third base. If you want to impress, restraint and respect for your partner are two huge tools at your disposal.
For women, your job is so much easier. When women make the first move on a guy that is interested in them, no technique is really needed. Just be careful not to cause injury, but other than that, pretty much everything is perfectly fine.