Let me ask you this question:
On a scale of one to ten, how good of a kisser are you?
Think about it carefully before answering. Are you REALLY confident? Would you say you're a nine or a ten? Or are you a little less confident, maybe you think you're about average... say around a five or six?
Or better yet, if I asked YOUR partner on that scale, how good are you, just what do you think he or she would say?
Hmmmm, right? Got you wondering too?
And while we're on the subject... Just how great is your partner when it comes to the art of kissing? Is he or she one of those incredible, knock your socks off kissers who makes you hot and bothered with the mere touch of their lips and the warmth of their breath? Or is he or she one of those slobbering loose cannons that attacks your mouth with wild abandon?
If any of these not so great scenarios sound a little too close to home, then maybe it's time for a refresher course in the fine art of kissing. You owe it to yourself and let me tell you why.
First off, when you think about it, kissing is one of the greatest forms of communications, if not the greatest. Kisses send messages, especially with regards to matters of the heart. So shouldn't you be very clear about what you're trying to say and also make sure that you and your man are speaking the same language? A simple kiss can say I love you, you're sexy, goodbye, hello, I'm horny, I'm NOT horny, let's go again, I'm gonna tease you... the list goes on and on.
You plant the seed every time you plant a kiss on his lips.
Sounds good, right? So where do you start? Start at the very beginning....
Now these are simple reminders for a lot of ladies (and gentlemen), or may seem like, "Well, duh, of course I do that." But apparently not EVERYONE does, because these are the TOP COMPLAINTS I'm getting from all my readers...
So, don't get your panties in a bunch... Just make sure you're doing the following:
I have to say, this one broke my heart, but it seems to ring true. The less lipstick the
better. But SOME is better than none.
Most men prefer nude lipstick colors or ones that won't be so damn obvious when smeared all over his face. So, as much as we love those gorgeous reds, it makes them less likely to want to kiss us.
That also goes with goopy lip gloss. Too much is TOO MUCH. So keep in mind when you're putting on your lipstick, would you want THAT on your face?
Now, with that being said, take good care of your pucker...
Brush your lips gently with your toothbrush to keep off any dead skin and keep those
puppies nice and moist. Eye cream often keeps your lips softer than regular old lip gloss.
I can't stress enough.
KEEP YOUR BREATH CLEAN.
Keep mints in your purse / wallet and in your night stand. Keep little mini mouthwash bottles in your purse. Have gum available after dinner for the both of you... so you can enjoy fresh breath as well.
Brush your tongue to keep away nasty-ass germs and that smell that goes with them. Keep a pocket mirror to watch for sneak attacks from food. And if one of you decides that a plate of garlic and onions sound delicious, then you might as well both enjoy it because it won't be as noticeable.
If your guy happens to tell you that your breath smells like you've been sucking on an old smelly gym sock or you have spinach attacking your teeth, handle it with humor. It's always best to laugh it off, even if you're mortified. You're not doing him (OR YOU) any favors by letting him get by with the smell of rotting flesh coming out of his pie hole...be kind but let him know.
(If you need to freshen up your communication skills with your man, ask for what you need, and gently let him know when you're not exactly THRILLED with what you're getting, check out my chapter on COMMUNICATION of my book... click here for all the details:)
OK, enough with bad breath and nude lipstick, let's start kissing, right? Remember, kissing is subjective. Different people like different things.
That being said, there are a few fairly standard rules of thumb to become a better kisser and get you guy to be a better kisser too. Because if you and your man are not connected with your smooches, then chances are it will limit the amount of passion the two of you will share.
You may find that you may be trying to kiss him the way you used to kiss an ex... and that way of kissing used to make him go NUTS...
But with your new guy?
Um, not so much.
And the same can apply to you. He can be applying his fabulous woodpecker attack to your mouth which used to work on his ex-girlfriend (yeah, whatever...) But with you? Maybe it's just... annoying.
So instead of sitting him down and telling him his kissing sucks... (hear that hissing
noise? That's his HUGE male ego deflating... DON'T DO IT.)
Why not try try kissing him how you like to be kissed and then ask him how that feels? Ask him to show you.
Then if he does it right, tell him HOW AMAZING that feels.
So now, when kissing him, these are the tips that men have told me that they agree make a great kisser:
Keep your lips loose and slightly open. Tight and closed lips are very uninviting, like making out with your Great Aunt Minerva. Don't peck kiss or peck French kiss. It's a major turn-off.
A major turn-on?
Your lips parted, so that he can feel the inner rim of your lips, and start very gradually to use your tongue.
Just tease with your tongue at first.
Don't feel the need to floss his teeth with your tongue.
Alternate the rhythm - suck his tongue lightly, move your tongue around, gently suck on his lower lip. (Not upper, that can hurt...)
ONLY gradually increase your tongue moving in and out of his mouth. Remember, go niiiiiiiiiice and slow. Tease that naughty boy. He may want to go faster, but the more you control the speed of your kissing, and keep it slower, the more you'll drive
And when you start to move on to different areas of his body, go back and visit his mouth again. Think of his lips as the home base to his passion. Visit home often.
WHERE TO KISS
Besides the lips, where men loved to be kissed:
On their NIPPLES
Their earlobes (with some tongue action, but don't get sloppy!)
Fingers and Toes
The Hip bones
Whew! Then who knows!!!!
And last but not least -
Remember that the most important kiss is...
The kiss after.
If you two finish some amazing lovin',
Give him / her a kiss on the lips, the cheek, the neck, somewhere. It will not only
seal the deal, but speak volumes about how much he means to you.
Want to know more???
Make sure to sign up for Lora Somoza's Free Weekly Newsletters on Love and Sex. She'll answer your questions here: