Knowing when to mend a broken friendship is one of those hard life decisions. Unfortunately, all of us contemplate this issue at some point in our lives. Deciding if a friendship is worth reclaiming isn't easy to figure out; however, here are a few steps to take yourself through before making the decision.
Step One: Figure out why the friendship is broken in the first place. Was it lack of time and effort on either part? Was there a conflict the two of you had? Now ask yourself, "Why?" Why was there a lack of effort? Why was there a conflict?
Step Two: Put yourself in their shoes. Would you want to mend a fractured friendship with yourself given the circumstances? How could they be feeling about the friendship?
Step Three: Go over the history of your friendship. Were there more good times than bad? Were you always complaining that this particular friend took advantage of you? How long have you known them? Did the conflict speak about the kind of person they are?
Step Four: Make a test script and review it with someone you trust. In the script, say what you would say to your friend. Do you still get angry when you go over the script? Do you find that you are defending yourself? If so, you may still be too upset from the falling out. Try writing a letter to your friend and say everything you need to say, but don't mail it. This will help you initially get everything out. Once you have done this, let a week or two go by. If you find yourself too mad still, it may not be a good idea to rekindle the friendship. However, if you feel more calmed it may be a good idea to fix the broken friendship.
Step Five: At this point, you are a little more suited with facts and feelings that will help you decide on whether fixing the broken friendship is worth your time and efforts. If you still aren't sure, that's okay. Take your time, that may be what you need - Time.
A word of caution must be said, however. Trying to mend a broken friendship or any kind of relationship takes more than one person. The other party has to be receptive or willing to do the same. Try not to get too upset if your friend isn't ready yet. Everyone is different when it comes to facing a conflict or dilemma. Allowing your friend the space they need may be hard, but will prove to be respectful. Showing respect during this trying time may make mending the friendship all the more worth it. It will also help to gain respect in return.