Emotional affairs are just as detrimental to a relationship as physical affairs. If your partner has a strong emotional attachment to a third person they may have an intimacy that is strong enough to be an affair. In order to recognize if your partner is having an emotional affair, you should follow these steps.
- Value those who came before. Remember that just because your partner has a relationship or friendship with another woman does not mean he is having an emotional affair. This is especially true if the relationship existed before you and he got together. If the third party is his oldest friend, they have an emotional attachment that you should respect not try to crush. Value that her best guy friend helps her deal with life but that doesn't mean he threatens your relationship.
- Ask the questions. There are several signs that your partner is involved in an emotional affair. If you think he might be too attached to another woman, it is time to ask yourself the following questions:
- Has he started spending more time at work?
- Have you noticed more excuses when he is too tired to be with you?
- Does he seem distant and distracted?
- Has he started talking about his new friend?
- Communicate openly. Sometimes you will just need to ask him if he is spending time with another woman. You need to be able to communicate freely in a relationship. If he starts talking about a girl often, ask him about her. Don't accuse or make suggestive comments. Instead just ask, who is she? The same is true for guys. If you notice your girl is spending extra weekends at work but not talking to you about the project that has her distracted, ask her about it. Let her know that you've missed her while she's been gone and that you are interested in what matters to her.
- Notice secretive behavior. If your partner hides email, deletes internet history or ignores calls and text messages without explanation, he might be hiding something. It doesn't have to be an affair or an emotional connection with someone else. Still, secrets are bad for a relationship so pay attention if your partner seems to have a growing number of them.
- Meet each other's friends. If you haven't already met the friend she spends so much time with, you need to. If a new friend appears in her life and they spend time together, get to know him. Pay attention to how he behaves around you. Does he seem to know more about your relationship than you do? Does he flirt and touch her even when she is with you? Does she blush and try to avoid him with the three of you are together? All three of these are signs that someone feels guilty and may mean they are involved in an emotional affair.
Before you let fears of infidelity crush your relationship, spend some time finding out the truth. If you follow these steps and find your partner may be having an emotional affair, then you need to be straight with him. Get straight answers and then get your relationship back on track.