Boy meets girl, they fall in love and live happily ever after. This scenario is played out countless times in the media. The reality is that everyone wants to meet that special someone and live happily ever after. When it is your turn to write the script and that special someone takes center stage in your life, the world seems to stop as your hearts are intertwined. You cherish every moment together, as if it were your last. You feel like you are dreaming because your reality seems too good to be true. Unfortunately, this feeling of romantic bliss can slip away over time. You know your relationship is in trouble when there is a gnawing feeling that there is a deep rooted disconnect somewhere in the nucleus of your relationship. Here's how to keep an eye on your relationships and spot problems before they arise.
When your relationship is thriving, you have a deep-centered connection. You enjoy spending time with your special someone. Even if you don't like all of the same things, you still have mutual respect for each other's differences and the things that make you uniquely different. You don't have awkward spaces of time trying to grapple for polite conversation. The close connection flows smoothly. You can tell that your relationship is in trouble when there is a distant feeling at the core of your relationship. The flame that once shined brightly is reduced to a struggling flicker.
Poor communication or lack thereof is often an unfortunate consequence of a relational disconnection. It is difficult to have close, meaningful conversations when you don't FEEL close to your loved one anymore. Often relationships break down when couples can't see eye to eye and just don't seem to be able to truly hear each other out of mutual respect. With almost half of marriages ending in divorce, communication breakdowns are a key pitfall to the demise of a relationship. So many couples cite "irreconcilable differences" as the cause of their break up.
Relationships are about give and take. Mutual upkeep is essential for healthy relational maintenance. When one person keeps giving and giving and the other person doesn't continue to invest his or her heart and soul, there are going to be problems. The giver gets tired of doing all of the work. The nature of love is giving. Seeking the other person's highest good should be each other's top priority. When that is not at the forefront, the relationship is in trouble because self-interest sets in instead of self-sacrifice.
When your relationship is in trouble, re-live the dream. Rewind the tape and go back and do the things you did at first that began your romantic encounter. Go away on a long weekend and renew your investment in each other and your relationship. A fresh start will have great rewards!