Handling a stepchild is a lot more difficult than handling your own. When children come from broken homes, the tendency for them is to harbor hate and blame the new people coming in to their lives for what has become to their families.
Stepparents are more often than not torn between staying happily married with their partners and giving in to their stepchild’s qualm of not having them as part of the family. It is truly a dilemma that is not like any other because as much as you try to love your step-child like your own, it would be almost impossible to be at par with the standards that they have set with their biological parents.
It takes a lot of courage and acceptance to come to terms with the reality that you can never be your stepchild’s real mother or father. The feelings come in stages. From the denial stage, the frustration and oftentimes the depression that comes with being rejected by a child who you try to treat like your own. Lastly, there’s the decision making stage which entails a lot of strength and courage.
So how do you know when enough is enough? How can you tell when you have already given up what you can and the time has come when you have to consider your emotional well-being? Even so, how can you come to terms with the fact that leaving your step-children, would mean having to leave your partner, the person that you did it all for, as well?
To help you make this major decision in life, here are a few steps and tips that would require a lot of courage and thought from your end.
- Seek professional help. In making major decisions such as this, it is most hopeful to seek objective advice from a family counselor. Troubles at home tend to leave you distracted and highly emotional that making rash decisions over sound ones are more likely to happen because of the burdensome situations that you are facing. Additionally, a professional can also help you discuss legal matters since leaving your step-children will greatly affect your relationship with your mate.
- Reflect on your relationship with your partner or mate. Is the person worth it? Has he been giving you the emotional support that you need to pull through the challenges of entering a broken family? If it turns our that your partner is not, then this is enough grounds to leave. Remember that when you entered the relationship, this meant facing all your issues and problems together with your partner. But if you are left feeling alone having to handle the stress and burdens of being rejected, then what is the point?
- Have you been off lately? Have you been delivering your work well? Or are you seemingly in twilight zone where you just keep forgetting things and you are always feeling tired? These are actually but symptoms of emotional stress and depression.
Though indeed a very difficult decision to make, there should come a point in your life when your well-being should be the priority. If you think that staying with you partner and stepchildren is the only thing that can give you the kind of esteem that you are looking for, then think again. You may be doing yourself more harm than good.