How To Know When to Stop Helping Someone

Everybody likes to lend a helping hand now and again, but sometimes the recipients show an adverse reaction to the help. The key to helping someone effectively is to get him back on his feet again, rather than just a quick hand-out that may or may not be appreciated.

For those who need help financially, but have shown a pattern of behavior that they lack money management skills, just doling out the cash is useless. Try to help him with the extra money he needs while investing a little time to educate him about a budget. And if your sound advice falls on deaf ears, you have to be strong and walk away. Handing out money to people who squander it makes no sense, and that type of individual cannot be helped. For example, if a person says he has no money for the end of the month food bill, but is paying for cell phone games or other entertainment, the person with the helping hand should not be giving him any more funds. Some people are irrational with money and cannot decipher a "need" from a "want."

If you believe the money you are contributing is not being spent wisely, try a shift away from cash, and offer him a gift card at a local grocery store. However, even providing people with necessary items can turn sour when you notice that the gift card is going towards liquor and non-food items at the stores. The best medicine for that person is for you to walk away and let him experience a few lean weeks of hunger until they get the message that your help was intended to pull them from the financial pit and straighten out the mishandling of the finances.

Some generous individuals thrive on helping others, even when their actions seem to be unappreciated. However, there has to be a cutoff point when giving people your time and money, lest you wish to legally adopt him as your own kid. If you are worried about the person's stability, let him know that there is a time limit to your lending, and that you expect him to find another resource to keep himself going. If circumstances are beyond his control, then by all means, keep up your good work and help him out. However, if he shows no signs of progress and is capable of sustaining himself, it’s time for you to walk away. Let him know that you work hard for your money and have to attend to your own needs. And never beat yourself up or feel guilty that your lending season is over. You probably did more to help that person than anyone else in your circle, but enough is enough and you are done.


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