How To Know who to Include in a Wedding Shower

A wedding shower is fun and lovely. It is one of the essential wedding rituals. In the old days, only the female relatives of the couple to be wed and the bride’s closest female friends have been invited to join the intimate event. But today, the guest list has already expanded. Men, couples, and even officemates are welcome to take part in the occasion.

If you are planning a wedding shower soon, here are some guidelines on how you can come up with an all-inclusive guest list:

  • Consult the bride. The wedding shower is for the bride and no one else. So, talk to her. Get her input. Find out who are her preferred guests. You should have them in your list. Expect her to give you names of those who have been really close to her. It is better if she can provide you her “list”. That way, you have no reason to miss anyone.
  • Complete the traditional list. Start with the bride’s side – from her mother (or stepmother) to her sisters. Then, all of her female relatives – aunts, cousins, nieces, or even her second cousins who she hasn’t seen in years because they are living somewhere else. Next is groom’s side – again, from his mother (or stepmother) to her sisters. After that, all of his female relatives. If the couple’s grandmothers or great grandmothers are still living, invite them, too. Complete the traditional list by identifying the bride’s wedding attendants and close friends.
  • Identify the bride’s “peers”. The wedding shower is an intimate event. The bride has to spend it with her “girlfriends”. So, if she is a career woman, she may be keeping two sets of “friends”. She may want some of her “colleagues” (officemates, co-workers, and business associates) to be present in her wedding shower. Likewise, she may desire some of her “acquaintances” (childhood friends, former schoolmates, and old buddies) to be around. 
  • Name the couples to be incorporated in the guest list. The bride and the groom may have been socially active and have established friendship with other married couples. They should be invited, too.
  • Finalize the guest list. Two things matter here. First is the budget. If it is tight, then, you really can’t have everybody. If budget is not a constraint, go to the next aspect – “the killjoy factor”. Bear in mind that the wedding shower is expected to be a happy occasion for the bride. So, if someone in the guest list can make her very uncomfortable or if someone there is undoubtedly critical of her, then, remove that person from the list.

Your guest list is exciting once you have included everybody who is important to the bride – to her life as woman and to her future role as a wife to her husband. She is certainly going to look forward in attending her own wedding shower. By the way, don’t limit the guest list, unless it is due to budget constraints. Even if some people are not sure if they can make it, they deserve to get their respective invitations. That allows them to feel part of the bride’s happy moment.


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