Some relationships are slow to end. There may be a test breakup or even a cycle of breakups and make-ups. When it’s time to quit and leave someone for good, you need to make a clean break and stick to your decision. Follow these tips and you will be able to make a breakup last.
- Believe in your decision to leave. Have confidence in yourself and your reasons for ending the relationship. Are you running from an abusive partner or just need to get out before things go bad? Whatever the reason, you cannot make the break until you believe it is the right thing to do.
- Be honest with your ex. Avoid platitudes and clichés like, “It’s not you, it’s me” and “I need space.” These leave room for reconciliation. Instead, tell your ex the truth. You are no longer in love, you are not compatible or you are interested in someone else. Don’t try to hurt your ex or be brutal in your assessment of the relationship. Just be upfront about why you want to leave.
- Write down your reasons and keep them with you. If you think your ex will try to persuade you to change your mind or come back, you may need reminders of why you decided to leave. Record the list and keep it handy so you won’t be tempted.
- Remove reminders. Keepsakes, love notes and photographs are reminders that may drag you back to the relationship in a moment of weakness or sentimentality. Pack them into a box and remove them from your daily life. Stuff the box in the back of a closet if you can’t face disposing of it completely. Just make sure it isn’t easy to get to in a weak moment.
- Break off contact. When a relationship ends, you should break off contact. You might be able to become friends again later, but not right away. You need the time apart and the distance keeps you from being talked into changing your mind.
- Distract yourself with activity. Once you have made the first steps of the split, you will need distractions. When you were together, you spent a lot of time together. Now you need to fill that time with something else. Spend it with friends, catching up with your hobbies or finding something new to interest you.
- Move on with confidence. Once you have made the break, start moving forward. Be sure of your choice and you will be able to move on with confidence.
Breakups are always difficult and often one party hangs on more than the other. Make the break a clean one by following these tips. With some effort, you will be able to leave that someone for good.