All good things come to an end. I’m sure you’ve heard of this before. And I’m sure you’ve heard about it one too many times. Let me tell it to you once again… All good things come to an end. I’m talking about a marriage gone bad. Sure, it started sweet and heavenly and you just couldn’t get enough of your partner. But with the marriage gone sour, the next best option is to get a divorce.
But wait! What if during the divorce, you have no other choice but to stay and live in the same house? This situation could really be, to put it gently, tension-sparking in all aspects! Seeing the person you hate the most at this time is never a good idea, and everything you see, hear or even think will just aggravate the situation further. For the people who are stuck in this very unusual, yet very real situation, fret no more! Below are a few steps you can take and adhere to so you can put some comfort and organization in the supposed to be, living hell.
- You’ve been living in and sleeping together in one room, one bed, and even using the bathroom at the same time. Unfortunately, things have changed, and with this, change should be applied to as well. Start living in separate rooms. If another room is unavailable, consider buying a separate bed at the very least. A lot of tension is built when you see, hear or think of each other, and staying, sleeping and occupying separate rooms or beds is a good start.
- Start taking account all your possessions together, and agree on who keeps what. It is only reasonable to keep what you have bought with your own money, but be human enough to honor the possessions of gifts. If you cannot agree on some things, call in a professional who can properly deal with the assigning of properties. You will also make a tremendous leap of improvement and avoid a lot of disputes that could develop down the road if you start separating your bank accounts at this point in time, as well.
- Since you are now living together as housemates, and nothing more, it would be prudent to have agreed responsibilities pertaining to the obligations into maintaining a household. Post a calendar in a place where it is easy to see, and agree on the details on specific dates, relating to the house chores and other important appointments and meetings. You have to be very specific when it comes to house chores and obligations most especially, since with small things come tiny disappointments that can easily accrue to very big matters of misunderstanding and eventually, verbal, sometimes even physical clashes. Having this organized scheduling system will avoid the development of these ugly events.
- Should your efforts be undermined by your counterpart, make the final effort to see a counselor. You have both grown to love then grown to hate each other, but in these trying times, it is best to remind each other that you can still be civil and productive. If you have children, it can be a great source of motivation to try and make things work, even in the midst of a divorce.