So you were carried away by your urges and ended up in bed - with a friend. What do you do when you wake up naked beside someone you consider a very dear friend? Can you actually maintain a good friendship after having sex?
It will take will power, but if you think your friendship is way more important than losing it over a night of careless sex, then it is possible to maintain your friendship the day after. You just need to make things clear and keep your part of the bargain. It is important for the two of you to talk openly, right after getting dressed.
- Clarify the situation. What exactly happened before you wound up in bed together? Was he too depressed and you offered a shoulder to cry on? Was he too drunk and lost his inhibitions with you? Or was it plain naughtiness that you decided to just "try it out"? Find out what exactly sparked the flame that consumed both of you. When you know exactly what happened, it is easier to determine the next steps.
- Clarify your intentions. If you do not intend to take the relationship to the next level (i.e. commitment), then say so. It may hurt the other person, or it may scare you to tell the truth, but be just honest. It is better than to lead the person on and break each other's hearts eventually.
- Keep it between the two of you. You would not want your other friends to find out about your misadventure since it may cause a ripple effect that will ruin your friendship. This is especially true if there are other complications such as existing relationships that you and your friend are currently in. Keeping the secret to the grave can save you a lot of headaches.
- Do not nurture your feelings. It is normal to feel like you are starting to fall for your friend after sharing an intimate moment together. This is especially common for women. But once the situation and the intentions have been clarified, it is important to keep your feelings in check, and to avoid nurturing romantic feelings for your friend. This is difficult at first, but when you keep your mind focused on your well being, then you will be able to focus on the friendship and not hope for anything more than that.
- Do not bring it up again. Once you have discussed and agreed that you will remain friends and act like nothing happened, stick to it. Talking about the incident over and over may lead to the deterioration of your friendship, and it may cause the other person to think you cannot keep your word.
- Be yourself. Act like you used to before you ended up in bed together. It is normal to feel awkward at the beginning, but keeping a secret is a challenge you must overcome. Act normal, be confident and be happy. Focus on yourself and your plans for the future, and leave the past behind.
- Do not do it again. You already know it is not going to work. Do not repeat the same mistake.