How To Maintain Romance

It is easy to become complacent when involved in a long-term relationship. In these situations, partners often become comfortable with each other and with a routine. But with effort and attention, you can avoid relationship laziness and marital discord; follow these steps to maintain romance.

1. Communicate with your partner every day. This doesn’t mean talk about the kids, what is for dinner or the weather. Talk about what matters to you. Ask about your partner’s day and listen to the response. Relationships succeed when we make the effort to know our partners as deeply as possible. Ask the deep questions; learn all you can. For help, Oprah love expert Michael Webb has compiled a great series of questions.
2. Make your partner’s needs a priority. Show your love that you think about him or her often. Anticipate your partner's physical and psychological needs whenever possible. If your spouse has been exhausted or feeling run down and needs to blow off steam, send him out to play poker or golf with the guys. Or plan a romantic weekend away from the kids. What you do will depend on your partner’s needs and preferences.
3. Allow for time alone together. Couples with families often find they have no couple time. You cannot maintain romance when you share your bed with a toddler or all your meals with teenagers. Schedule regular adult time including date nights, Sunday morning cuddle times and weekends away together.
4. Don’t forget the small touches and physical contact. When you first dated, you held hands and touched whenever possible. Kiss your spouse to make contact and share, not just as foreplay for sex. Cuddle on the couch and make out for the sake of enjoying and communicating. If you can’t recall the last time you held hands with your love, now is the time to start so you don’t lose the romance in your relationship.
5. Give gifts for fun. Gift giving has become an obligation with the many Hallmark holidays. If finding something for your spouse for her birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, your anniversary and Mother’s Day stresses you out, you are not alone. There is a lot of pressure to buy the right gift for the right event. Take the stress out of gift giving by giving gifts for fun throughout the year. Treat your love to a weekend away or try something small like flowers after a long week, an afternoon away from the kids or a bottle of cologne or perfume you saw in a store.
6. Be spontaneous. Romance involves letting the person you love know that he or she is first in your life. Romance is not calculated, so be spontaneous. If your wife looks great, let her know. Tell her and show her you love her when the thought hits you, not just every night before bed as part of your routine.

Maintaining romance takes work. Show your loved one how much you feel by following these steps.