Until now, having an inter-sexed child is more like a nightmare for every parent. It pains a parent, especially a mother, to see her child bearing the physical characteristics of both male and female. Not only will it make raising a child difficult, but it will also be a debate on what the child will wear and what his name will be. Moreover, this he or she problem can be also traumatizing to the child.
Inter-sexuality condition manifests in varying degrees, wherein the physical appearance of the sex organ is quite inexplicable since it differs from the normal appearance of the sex organ. Many years ago, a decision on which gender the child is supposed to be was in the doctor's opinion. They used to believe that gender can be learned by the child, disregarding the chromosomes. This is why doctors tend to remove and cut off male parts, retaining the female parts, to make the child female. This way, it is easy to name her, dress her and treat her. Socializing when the child grows will be much easier, according to the doctors. Well, that's what they thought.
Doctors back then didn't expect that the chromosomes have their own way of leaning towards the rightful path eventually, which could only be male or female. Some inter-sexed children who had their male genitals cut off in an early age have grown to be more male than female, including thoughts and feelings. Now, child psychologists and doctors alike have concluded that every person is born with a gender, and that no one can forcefully change it. As the child grows, feelings, thoughts and actions change. It is up to the child to decide if he should be a male or a female.
It is a good thing that at the present time, there are many ways to get informed choices if your child happens to be inter-sexed. At least, you can refrain from making the same mistake parents of inter-sexed children had before. The decision does not entirely rely on the doctor's opinion anymore.
The first thing you should do is have your child's DNA checked. DNA analysis will determine if your child is a male or female. In case the doctors don't consent on doing this, then you can have another company to do it for you. The cost is relatively cheap, less than $200. Whatever the result is, you have to respect it. You can't force your child to be a male or a female. If the child's genitalia looks different from what the DNA analysis says, disregard the appearance. After all, chromosomes perform great role in a person's sexual maturity, physical and mental development.
The next thing you should do is figure out how to find support groups or communities that are in the same situation that you are. Although you can search facts from the Internet about inter-sexed children, nothing beats talking to people in a support group. They can give suggestions based on their own experiences. Moreover, they can point you to a very reliable doctor when the right time comes.