How To Make Moving with Children Easier

The house is chosen, the paperwork is started and the bank visit is scheduled. In theory, your move from one house to another is going smoothly. However, the packing is taking longer than expected and now the children are upset about a new house. Where do you start? How can this possibly go smoothly? And will it be better once we're in the new place? Some simple things to consider can make moving much easier for children to handle. Older children can be easier to reason with and coerce into involvement. But what about younger kids?

1. Involve them from the start. Many people feel that children will just adapt to any circumstance they're thrown into. To an extent, this can be true. But if we want our kids to feel like they are an active part of our family (our team), then we must be sure to involve them before the closing date is scheduled. Expressing interest in a child's opinion makes him feel valuable and important in the process. Invite your child to look at houses online with you. Bring your children along on a walk-through. It may feel stressful to you to have your children with you for that visit, but you'll also get a feel for how practical the house would be with children in it. Explain to kids that the final decision is up to you, but you want their opinions and ideas along the way. When you do pick the perfect place, your children will be excited about the "house they helped pick."
2. Help your child design his new room. If your child was involved in the house walk-through, he'll already have a visual of his new bedroom. Imagining his existing bedding in that room or a new color or theme can be very exciting for a child. Creating it as "his space" gives him a sense of identity and involvement in what can be a major upheaval. Having your child help you pack up his room will only continue the excitement and planning for the new space.
3. Consider things from their point of view. To a young child, dolls and stuffed animals have feelings. Shoving them all into a dark, cold box can be hurtful and confusing. Oftentimes, a child will even project his own feelings onto Teddy, and vice versa. Taking the time to consider their feelings can help ease the packing along. Think about packing their friends into clear plastic bins or clear garbage bags so they can "see outside." Maybe a small hole cut into a cardboard box will "help them breathe." Talk to your children and ask what they would like.
4. Remember their safety. As important as it is to involve your children to protect their mental and emotional health, it's just as important (if not more important) to consider their physical safety. Involving them in the process up to this point can be very helpful for them. But consider having them stay with family or friends on the actual day of the move. Things can go so much more smoothly for your strong friends or movers if the kids are not at risk of running underneath them. The excitement of it all can cause kids to do things they temporarily forget they shouldn't do. It might be best to plan a fun day for them with someone they love and trust. They could come up to the new house once all the heavy things are in and help to arrange their new bedrooms.
5. Think about life after the move. The physical work may be over now, but the emotional part can linger. Consider what your child will have to go through in this new home. New neighborhood? Friends? School? Doctor? It might be worth taking the time to set up a scavenger hunt in your new neighborhood. Set up a list of things to look for: certain trees, slides at the closest park, lunch room of the new school, parking lot of the new church, waiting room at the new doctor, best chair at the new library, etc. Walk the neighborhood or plan a drive for a day to discover features that your child will love and embrace as his own now.

Taking a few moments to look at a move from your child's perspective can make the whole process go from "terrifyingly tragic" to "terrifically exciting." Your child will transition much easier and may even thank you for involving him (though, I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for thanks from a 3-year-old)!