Tell me if this sounds familiar. It’s the eve of a certain holiday. And you’re in no mood to celebrate. Feeling a little bit like a Scrooge, right? Bah Hum Bug! You just want to sleep through the day and pretend it doesn’t exist. And all those people enjoying it, all those Tiny Tim’s? Well, screw ‘em! But it comes anyway.
Yeah, yeah, for some, it will be all hearts and flowers, blah, blah, blah. Well, goody for them. Like that girl who will be staring lovingly into some gorgeous doctor’s eyes while he gets down on one knee in front of an expensive restaurant full of approving patrons, and asks for her hand in marriage? Well, la di friggin da for her.
For the rest of us living on the corner of cold harsh and reality, that’s not so much the case. Who hasn’t had that day where there is no delivery boy bringing a dozen red roses to you at work? Maybe your big dinner date was with your mother. Or better yet, you had a dinner party where the attendees were Ben and Jerry, Mrs. Fields and Famous Amos. Was your excitement for the evening another rerun of Law and Order? Uh huh, come to momma Lora, baby. You’re in good company.
It is time to be a little proactive this year. And that doesn’t mean checking your phone at 11:59 p.m. on February 13th to see if your crush from fifth grade has tracked you down. No. You have options. And I’m telling you, you do one of these three, you’ll feel a hell of a lot better than sitting home alone watching a night of “The Way We Were”, “Love Story”, and “When Harry Met Sally”.
- Option Number One – Be your own Valentine. I know it sounds like some cheesy ass thing your Aunt Bertha would say, but hear me out. I’m not telling you to stand in a mirror like Stuart Smalley and tell yourself you’re OK (I may vomit just writing it). No I’m saying this is a good time to do a little damage on you. A little shopping, a little retail therapy. You know what I mean. You need to buy yourself something that you absolutely DO NOT need. Whether it be Godiva truffles, flowers, a hot little dress or those red suede Manolo's (like the ones that rest in my closet, sigh), buy it, cherish it, you deserve it, Lady. And it doesn’t even have to be a thing. It could be a service. What better day to get a facial, try a Brazilian bikini wax, or get a massage from the hottie masseur named Sven? Come on, live a little! That’s right! Happy Valentine's Day to Moi!
- Option Number Two – OK, so maybe you’re broke as hell or a new pair of shoes won’t make you feel better (in which case, you may want to check your genitalia and make sure you’re a woman…but that’s another story). There is always the option of being someone else’s Valentine. Someone who needs it a hell of a lot more than you. Have you ever stopped to think how many lonely people are out there, where one little visit could mean the world, not just to them but to you?
Why not go to a nursing home and visit the people living there? Here are men and women, who many times have no family close by. Just coming by and saying hi, sharing a smile, and bringing some flowers to brighten the room can do wonders. Remember that these are people’s mothers, fathers, grandparents. Share your heart with them. You wouldn’t believe how full your heart will feel. Or you can go by a hospital (Call first, for each hospital has different policies). You may volunteer in the children’s ward, hell maybe the cardiology ward for that matter. If this idea makes you queasy, than simply donate a pint of blood. And then you can go home and watch “My Bloody Valentine”! OK, that part’s definitely optional.
- Option Number Three – So, shopping won’t cut it and nursing homes won’t heal your aching heart? Make a party of it. An anti-Valentine’s party. Now this takes a little forethought, so don’t wait until the last minute. Invite all your single friends who are in the same boat. (Don’t worry, Miss Pity Party of One, there are others out there without a special someone!) Keep it light with great music – no love songs! Get a silly cake and sacrifice that damn Cupid for not doing his job. You can have themes, swap worst old boyfriend stories, hell, get a stripper if you want! (You naughty girls!!!) But by all means, have fun, eat, drink, be merry. You’d be surprised how a party like this could lift not only your spirits, but your friends’ as well.
What NOT to do - Do me a favor. Promise me you won’t do any of the these:
- Don’t go on a blind date. Not on Valentine’s. Too much pressure on it, even if you think it’s not and if you don’t really like the guy or he doesn’t like you, you’ll only feel like you're destined to die alone.
- Don’t sit at home alone and listen to love songs / watch that movie / read a romance novel. Are you a glutton for punishment or what?
- And lastly, don’t call the ex, whatever you do. You cannot predict his response, or even if (horrors!) someone else answers the phone now!!!!
The most important thing is to remember that you give the power to this particular day. If you want to make it a big deal, then it will be. You can also make this a great day to be you. And I mean this when I say, have a Happy Valentine’s Day, Ladies.
Lora Somoza is the author of the book "BLISS IN THE BEDROOM: A REAL WOMAN'S GUIDE TO BETTER SEX" and has a weekly sex advice column. To sign up for her column of order her book, Click HERE: