How To Handle a Romanticized Friendship

Romantic Friendship is not a new concept. Many have experienced or went through this stage at one point in their lives. This relationship exists between a boy and a girl who call themselves friends on the surface but deep down inside their hearts, one of them is falling for the other. This usually occurs when you're done with the getting to know you stage and you have already known each other for quite some time. This is the point where you spend a lot of time together but are not dating because you are just friends. This means that you two are already familiar and comfortable with each other as friends or as best friends maybe. But you are convinced that you like him and that he is more than just a friend to you. You even think that you're falling in love with him. This is a difficult stage. When one of the two friends starts to cross the borderline of friendship, it becomes uncertain, uncomfortable, uneasy and unsettling. What makes it more difficult are added circumstances like for instance, if your guy friend is not dating other girls and you are not seeing any guy as well. That's when you start to misinterpret his actions and think that he also feels the same way towards you. This is very frustrating, if ever you'll follow this line of thought and find out in the end that you were wrong. So before committing a big mistake of false hope or mistaken belief eventually leading to heartbreak, the following will be some helpful tips.

Step 1

•1. Pick up some Hints

You and your guy friend do almost all things together, and you hang out all the time. You seem to be his only trusted confidant, and you know all his friends as well as family members. Instead of ruining the friendship and breaking your heart with false belief, take advantage of this opportunity of being with him. Find out if he's interested in any other girls or if you have any chance at all.  He is your best friend, and you know him more than anyone else does. You trust him more than anybody. If you can talk about almost anything under the sun then lead him to topics such as relationships, dating, what he feels about girls, what he likes and dislike in a girl, anything about emotions etc.. This is just a casual conversation, but a smart girl will be able to pick up and use some helpful hints. Be attentive. Be observant. Be his listener. You will be performing two roles; his trusted friend and at the same time, a hero for yourself.

Step 2

 •2. Be the Best-Girl-friend that you can be

This is like hitting two birds with one stone. Strive to be the best ever girl-best friend that he can have and at the same time, a very interesting potential-girlfriend. You don't have to sulk and bury yourself with paranoia that he will not ever consider you to be girlfriend material or that you will never be good enough for him. And never ever think that it is your fault that you've crossed the boundary and you might ruin the friendship that you have with him. Instead focus on improving yourself, on becoming a better you, and a more interesting you. Be confident. Take advantage of your closeness and of the fact that he chose you over everybody to be his dearest friend. That is something that you can work on. You are already familiar and comfortable with each other. Most of the relationships that work and last long are founded on friendship. No one wants to spend a lifetime with someone you are not comfortable talking to or who is not easy to be with. Make him realize that he need not look elsewhere, that what he needs is right in front of him, and patiently waiting.

Step 3

•3. Take the Lead

In this time and age where we are already living in a borderless world because of advancement in Science and Technology, waiting for the male species to make the first move in courtship is a thing of the past. A girl on a palace stairs or window waiting for her prince charming to come and rescue her only appears in fairytale books. It is a fad that has long been gone and forgotten. Why wait when you can make the move? Gender inequality today is nothing but a biological difference.

In line with that, if you are starting to feel something special towards your guy friend and his presence is already bothering you and you can no longer look straight into his eyes without wishing that you're more than just friends, then take the lead. Let him know about how you feel and how special he is. Let him know how his smile brightens your day and how his sweet and caring words lighten up your mood. Let him know how you would want to take the relationship to the next level.

This is not an easy decision to make. It takes courage and confidence in oneself to make this move. You might be thinking, what if he doesn't feel the same way? It's good to weigh and consider every possible consequence of your actions. But too much negativity in thoughts is never healthy. Instead of such pessimism, why not think of it this way "what if he likes me too?" Isn't it better? Guys are also like us, they will also not risk if they know that they don't have any chance at all. A guy also needs some indication of hope from the girl he's interested in. Guys also fear rejection. Guys also need assurance.

And so what if he doesn't feel the same? It will surely hurt, but the wound will not be that deep. The pain will be bearable because you had your answers at the earliest possible time. It won't be that difficult to heal as compared to if you have endured and suffered the agony of not knowing where you stand. So take your chances. It will feel a lot better than not having any answers at all. At least you won't have to look back and wonder what if.

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