In the TV series and succeeding spin-off movie Sex and the City (SATC), Carrie Bradshaw and her friends never had trouble finding men. In real life, some women have a love life similar to the ladies of SATC, but many women don’t. In fact, many women have given up on finding men in real life and have taken to looking for them on dating sites instead. Of course you can sit in front of your computer eating potato chips and dreaming about the perfect man, but I’m putting my money on the corner grocery store instead. When you meet someone in real life, there is so much more you instantly know about him, without wasting hours of email and getting your hopes all entangled with some imaginary Prince Charming who most likely is wooing twenty other women at the same time.
You really do not need to position yourself anywhere in the hopes of getting a man, he will find you but of course you have to help him find you by making sure you look presentable when stepping out of your home. You have to face the fact that men are visual beings so what you look like (hair, face, body, clothes, and shoes) is what will first attract him to you. Maybe some days you don’t feel like dressing up but think about the “What Ifs?” What if on the day you feel like dressing in sweatpants on your way to get coffee, you see a really cute guy? What have you got to show for it other than shabby sweatpants? You get the message.
If you feel like meeting men somewhere other than through online dating sites and within your network of friends and family, here are some options to try.
- Get to know people outside of your office and department at work. All it takes is a friendly smile or a greeting. Limiting your association with those working in your department or speaking to other people outside of your department for purely work-related issues is a self-imposed exile on your social life. You don’t have to be overly friendly, just smile and greet other people while sharing an elevator ride or when passing familiar faces in the lobby.
- Introduce your pet to others' pets. Don’t just take your dog out for a walk. Let her mingle with other dogs in the dog park. This is one way you can meet men. If you live in New York City, the dog park at famous Madison Square Park is a great place for meeting potential male friends. Take a step further by joining parties organized by fellow pet dog lovers. A couple of party organizers that may work wonders for you are Leashes and Lovers and Singles with Pets.
- Enroll in short courses or classes. Cooking, baking, wine-tasting, home improvement, cars, fitness. Depending on your interest and budget, you can inquire about taking any of these courses to increase your chances of meeting men while learning something new in the process.
- Regularly drop by Home Depot. You will always run out of Windex or something else that needs to be stocked for home upkeep. Make a Home Depot run a regular entry in your schedule. Saturday morning is supposedly ideal because this is a time when many men drop by to buy supplies or tools. However, this is also a place where married or men with significant others go because they were sent by their partners for an errand so be observant and always pay attention to the obvious- a wedding ring.
- Make long coffee stops. Instead of doing work on your dining table during weekends, sequester a table at your favorite coffee bar and work while in the presence of other patrons, men included. Do not forget your ethics, though. You need to order, repeatedly if needed so you won’t be regarded as someone who only takes up valuable space.
There are countless other activities and places for meeting men as long as you are not always holed up in your home or apartment. Go out as often as you want and try as many activities as you can, you might just be surprised to find yourself back on the dating circuit before you can even catch your breath.