Have you noticed friends disappearing or coworkers avoiding you? Have you started wondering if you are annoying or if there is something wrong with you? There’s no way to know if you have become annoying, but if you follow these steps you can make sure you are not annoying in the future.
- Find out what your annoying habits are. The first step to not be annoying is to figure out what you are doing to irritate or exasperate others. If you need help, gently ask your friends. Realize that people are annoyed by different things so don’t take it personally when your friends tell you all their personal pet peeves. Don’t get defensive when your friends answer honestly; you asked for it.
- Allow others their own space. No matter what your annoying habits may be, the frequency of them may also be a problem. If you spend all your time with your best friend or even your boyfriend, they may become irritated just because you are spending so much time together that every little thing bothers them. Have your own space and hobbies, a variety of groups you spend time with and let others have the same space.
- Practice listening. Any annoying habit can be ignored if you are the type of friend who listens when other people talk. By letting others take center stage to be the focus of your attention, you are letting them know they matter to you. Practice listening, instead of just hearing, what other people have to say. Actively listen and respond when you can.
- Give up the negativity and whining. If you are the member of the group who always has to see the dark side, is always standing under the gray cloud or just has a million things to whine about – you are definitely annoying. Try to find something positive or just shake things up by having a different opinion sometimes. Negativity is predictable so it’s not only annoying; it’s boring.
- Avoid pushing others to be your friend. Friendship is work but it is possible to try too hard. Some people reach their quota of friends or just find they are too busy to make new friends. When you push yourself onto these people, you annoy them and push them further away. Instead of trying to force connections, let people know you are interested, then let them find you if they want to connect.
- Respect boundaries. All of these steps are bound up in one simple rule that will keep you from being annoying which is that you should always respect boundaries. People have limits to how close they are willing to get physically and emotionally, some don’t want to be touched and still others just want their privacy. Pay attention and then respect each individual’s boundaries.
Changing yourself so that you are no longer annoying may take effort but if you follow these steps and remember to respect others, you will make progress quickly.