The tween and teenage years are a time of self-discovery. Growing up is difficult because of the rapid changes in our bodies. There is an intense desire to fit in and be liked by our peers. Some girls are naturally shy or are easily intimidated by other girls. Reasons are varied but it boils down to low self-esteem. There is a natural tendency to think that someone else is better than them. Girls want to attract boys and be accepted by other girls. No one wants to be rejected.
Here are a few things to remember to help ease your stress and not be intimidated by other girls.
- Find out what it is about other girls that intimidate you. Girls judge themselves more harshly than boys. They set themselves against a higher standard and when they don’t live up to it, they get insecure and intimidated by others. Remember that someone else will always be thinner, prettier, smarter, richer, more popular and more talented than you are. That’s alright. Because it just means that you will be that way to someone else too. No one is perfect. All you can be is the best you. It may not seem that way to you now, but the things you value in high school won’t really matter when you get out in the real world.
- Find out what you like about yourself. Think of what the things that make you special are. Do you have a special talent? Do you get complemented on your smile or your eyes? Find something to like about yourself and build from that. Relish your intelligence! Don’t dumb yourself down just to fit in. No one else in the world needs to think you are special as long as you do.
- Build your self-esteem. Self-esteem is self-love. Like yourself first before you expect the world to like you. People will naturally be drawn to you when they perceive your strong sense of self worth. You build self-esteem by working on yourself. Do things that make you feel good about yourself, such as volunteering, being a good student and developing your talents. You don’t get it by hurting or putting down someone else. You can read self help books and take care of yourself. Get a makeover!
- Remember that other girls are just like you. Everyone feels insecure about herself at any given time. You may look different on the outside, but chances are, you are all feeling the same way. You need to put things in perspective. It is impossible that in the entire school population, you would be the only one who feels they are not pretty, smart or talented enough. Even the most popular girl has issues.
- Smile and make eye contact! This is the easiest way to get people to warm up to you. When you initiate with a smile, chances are, the other person will smile back at you. It will make you seem approachable.
- Talk to a parent, counselor, pastor or trusted adult. Grown ups have gone through what you are going through now. Get help if you need it. If you are being bullied, you need to tell an adult right away.
It’s a cliché, but be yourself. Other girls are just like you so there’s no need to get intimidated. However, if other girls still put you down after you do these things, then perhaps you should rethink being friends with them.