It’s inevitable. Even in your most wedded bliss, you will come to a point when there will be just some things that your husband will do that will make you see red and have smoke coming out of your ears. It may be the little things such as his snoring, how he squeezed the toothpaste tube on the wrong end or that he watched TV instead of getting dinner ready even though he got home ahead of you by 2 hours. It may be the big things like he was insensitive, he forgot an anniversary or he called you fat.
Whatever it is, if you want to stay happily married, you cannot hold a grudge. You may be justified, you may be right, but being married isn’t about winning the fight but being happy. Here’s what you can do so you don’t stay ticked off at your spouse.
- Put things in perspective. If the worst thing your husband does is to leave the toilet seat up, then count yourself lucky. There are times when anger is normal, but for the little things, learn to let it go. This man slaves the day for you, bought you roses on valentines and wrote you the most heart melting love letters and takes out the trash. He may drive you crazy with his quirks but think about how crazy he is about you.
- Go to your happy place. Stop the spiral of negativity and stop dwelling on what your man is doing wrong. Think about what he is doing or has done right. If you need visual aids, look at your wedding photos or honeymoon pictures together. Look at the faces of your children and think how they are the best of you and your mate put together. Your happy place should not include alcohol to get there.
- Cool off when things get too hot. Walk away when you’re too frustrated to communicate effectively. If you feel you’re too angry and you’ll just yell or nag, allow yourself some space. Walk the dog. Play with your kids. Pray for patience from the Lord Almighty so that you don’t end up shooting your man. The last thing you want is for the anger to escalate and have a full blown war.
- Distract yourself with something that makes you happy or calms you down. If you’re really upset, take a breather. Light some candles and take a long hot bath. Get a massage. Run to your yoga class. Or better yet, watch a funny movie. It’s not a good idea to hit the mall and max out your card.
- Write about it. When you need to vent, journal your feelings. Let is all out so you get it out of your system. Don’t call your girlfriend and complain about your man. Do it in writing, let it go then close your journal and forget about it.
You may have a long list of complaints of the things that drive you up the wall about your spouse. The things that you used to find quirky and endearing are now irritating as hell. Relax. Remember that your spouse has a list about you too but he lets it slide off his back because he loves you. Learn to do the same.