How To Parent Your Children with Discipline

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Do you ever wonder how you will survive 18 years of parenting without pulling every hair out of your head? Have you ever given in to your child’s demands just to get a break from the screaming fits? If you answered yes, this article is a MUST read for you!  

One of the hardest, and most rewarding, things you will ever do in your life is become a parent. You will quickly learn that your children have personalities all their own. They learn at an early age that adults respond to screaming fits by giving in to their demands. If you do give in, it will destroy your attempts at consistent discipline. If you do not stop falling prey to all the demands and look for alternatives to parenting, the downward spiral into complete rebellion and insubordination is in your child’s near future.
 
I have two 5-year-old boys. One of which is my son, and the other, my stepson. Both kids come from completely different backgrounds and as a result respond differently to discipline. The boys were 3 years old when they met. At first, they got along but after awhile they could not go one minute without fighting or throwing a temper tantrum. It quickly became evident that my job as a parent would be harder than I had ever imagined. 

When my son acted out or disobeyed, I would simply give him a spanking and go on with my day. When my stepson would act out, I would try the same approach only to find the screaming and yelling fits would get worse. I spent countless hours trying to figure out why my method for discipline worked with one and not the other. After 6 months of nail biting fits, I took a step back and contemplated parenting as a whole. What I discovered would forever change how I parent my children.
 
I found that you must first identify with the child and his/her needs. Then you must respond to their needs and provide an alternative to bad behavior. Ignore the negative and praise the positive. This will, with time, teach the child that bad behavior has consequences and good behavior has rewards.

This newly found knowledge made me realize that my son had consistent discipline most of his life and my stepson did not. My method for discipline worked with my son because that was all he knew from birth. It failed to work with my stepson because throwing a fit to get what he wanted was all he knew since birth. I took a leap of faith and decided to try different approaches until I found one that worked for both kids. After some time, I discovered that my stepson responded to a timeout in the corner. At an early age he learned that throwing a fit and getting attention would give him what he wanted so once I took away the attention factor by placing him in a corner, he discovered that being good was far more rewarding than the alternative. With time and consistency, my children made a complete 180.

Here are some simple steps you can follow to change how your kids respond to discipline:
 
1.   Take a step back and watch your children when they are throwing a temper tantrum or fighting.
2.   Identify with the child and his/her needs.
3.   Respond to their needs.
4.   Try different methods for punishment until you find the one your child hates the most.
5.   Be patient and consistent with this punishment.
6.   Provide an alternative to bad behavior.
7.   Reward good behavior.
8.   Communicate with the child after the punishment.
9.   Remind the child that you love them and the punishment is for their own good.
10. Don’t give up.

One of the most important things is to stay committed and keep an open mind. It may take you several attempts using many discipline methods before you find the right one; however, I promise with time and consistency it WILL work and you will no longer wonder how you are going to survive 18 years of parenting!

My hopes are that you will take these simple steps to heart, put them into action and discover that you too can achieve success in parenting your children with discipline.