How To Prepare for Foster Care

Foster care is considered a service to the community, as families care for abused or abandoned children while their paper work for adoption is being completed, or while court hearings on custody are ongoing. Foster care is temporary, therefore, any emotional attachment should be managed properly for when the time comes to say goodbye. So how do you prepare yourself to be a foster parent? Here are some tips:

• Know the rules. State rules are laid down regarding foster parent requirements such as age, status (i.e. Do you have to be married? Can singles accept foster children?), and income bracket. You might have to have a house that can accommodate another child. You might be required to have your own car so you can drive to medical checkups and trips to school. Your income level will be checked to see whether you can afford to provide for the child's needs. Rules may differ in each state, since there are states that allow gay/lesbian foster parents. In some states, a married couple may have to be married for a period of time before they can accept a foster child.

• Talk to your family. Taking in a foster child is noble, but not everyone may agree with it. Take time to talk with your family, especially if you are married with kids; your spouse and children need to be informed and they need to agree to it because ultimately, they will become the foster child's family. Foster children are usually abused and abandoned, and they need to feel loved and accepted in their foster home. If your family does not agree to the idea of foster care, then you can find other ways of helping these children and involving your family as well. It might touch their hearts and they might be more open to the idea next time.

• Prepare yourself and your family. If your family agrees to take in a foster child, then you need to prepare for it, and not just assume that since you were able to raise your kids, having another one will be easy. Be aware that children who have been traumatized and abused have different behavior patterns since they have become used to keeping their pain to themselves. Read about child behavior, dealing with abused children, and other materials on the same subject.

• Volunteer to gain experience.  If you are single and you are allowed by the state to take in a foster child, gain some experience in child care by volunteering at orphanages, babysit for neighbors, preferably those with foster children. You may also take short courses on child development and parenting.

• Prepare your home.  Prepare your home for the new child - arrange the room, furniture, and toys. Also shop for food appropriate to the child's diet. Child proof your home to avoid accidents.

• Treat all children equally. If you have other children, make sure they are treated equally, so the foster child gets a feel of a "normal family," and will not feel differently.

• Say goodbye with grace.  When it is time to give the child back to the center or his/her parents, say goodbye and if the state allows it, keep in touch with the child.