So, you've been good all year, have ya? And now it's the holidays and you're doing all the RIGHT things:
- You're getting all the presents, spending just up to your credit card limit.
- You're starving yourself during the day, because you want to lose weight before Christmas, but binge out on those cookies someone brought into the office at the end of the day.
- You put up the Christmas ornaments and wrestle some crazed woman to the ground for the last Hannah Montana singing doll.
- You bake your weight in fudge, pie and cookies.
- You kill a small forest wrapping presents.
- And you bundle yourself off for a 32-hour delayed flight to see the family.
Wow, sounds SEXY. But what do you think would happen if you just changed things up a bit? If you said, FOR ONCE, "Screw nice, I want to be a little naughty!"
Sound a little fun? Intrigued?
Well, yeah! Who can blame you? And trust me, after the year you've had, you poor thing, I think you should! Have a little fun, will ya? Take your hair down, DARE Santa to put that lump of coal in your stocking!
So what should you do? Well, I'm not saying go run off to the Bahamas with the hottie pool guy, or go on strike from shopping or baking. But you can ADD an element of naughtiness to your relationship that can put the MERRY back in Merry Christmas. And it may even make your man think twice about getting you that lovely power drill and BBQ tool set.
- Dress for sex-cess. If your idea of dressing for the holidays is wearing one of those thickly knitted sweaters with the smiling reindeer on it, then you need a NAUGHTY intervention. Those sweaters, are warm, yes, and cute...on a 5-year-old. What you need is to have a little fun. Dress the part. Just for fun and to surprise you man, get yourself some naughty Christmas lingerie. There are gorgeous (and cheap) red velvet bra and panty sets, cute little g-strings with just a big red bow in the back, reminding him what a GIFT you really are! Have him come home and you're wearing a red velvet thong and a Santa hat, and the two of you will be saying "ho, ho, OHHHHHH!" in no time flat!
- Dashing through the "oh." Are you running around like a chicken with its head cut off? Barely have time to go the bathroom? Are you tired and cranky? I have JUST the cure. A "QUICKIE." Huh? Oh, take off your Mean Old Miss Scrooge Granny Panties and listen for a second. I've said it before and I'll say it again: "The more sex you have, the more happy chemicals you release in your body." Studies show that couples that have sex at least 2-3 times a week suffer from less depression, get along better, have better communication skills and a deeper level of intimacy. And HELLO, it feels pretty good! So next time you think you don't have time for some lovin', why not go for a little "Wham bam, thank you, Ma'am?" Maybe your man is parking his sleigh in the garage and you can surprise him with a 5 minute "BOY, AM I HAPPY TO SEE YOU." Even making a LITTLE time will make your holidays jollier!
- Toys are for (naughty) girls and boys. Remember when you were young and the bestest thing in the whole wide world was waking up your poor parents at 4:30 a.m. Christmas morning and dragging their tired butts out of bed to see what wonderful toys Santa left for you? Well, just because you're all grown up doesn't mean that you don't deserve to have some toys to play with... they're just DIFFERENT kinds of toys. Every bedroom can go from black and white to Technicolor when you do a little online shopping and add some adult toys as "stocking stuffers." Whether is be a naughty pair of dice that tells you an act to perform, a little "friend" that vibrates or a fun pair of furry handcuffs, Santa knows you WANT to be naughty... so what are you waiting for?
- If the weather outside is frightful... Then some cider can be delightful. Get in the mood with a little spiked cider or eggnog! Loosen up a little bit one evening, and enjoy each other's company. We spend too much time in panic mode during the holidays, worrying about money and no time. Why not press "PAUSE" for one designated evening, and the two of you can just play hooky from reality for one night? The present wrapping, the holiday card mailing, the house cleaning, the eight maids a-milking.... It can all wait for a night. Recharge your batteries by charging each other. Send the kids over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house they go. Then you two stay home and play naked Twister. You'll be amazed how a night of holiday hooky can give you a second wind... (And probably a couple of "Ohs!" too.)
Remember this is the season to give. So don't forget to GIVE yourself some yummy, toe-curling, hair-straightening, eye-popping sex. Santa would be so proud!
Lora Somoza is the author of "Bliss in the Bedroom: A Real Woman's Guide to Better Sex" and a sex advice columnist. You can sign up for her free newsletter by going here: www.blissinthebedroom.com