The first time you have a child, one of the first things that you need to remind yourself is that your child will grow out to be a full-grown person with his own quirks, characteristics, and personality. Because of this, raising children is both satisfying and at times, challenging. For some parents, teenage boys are especially challenging. Here’s how you can raise your boys properly.
Behavior. Early on, you will notice that your boys have their own personalities. Identify behaviors that you are comfortable with, and those that you do not like. Early on, you should provide positive reinforcement for good behavior, and you should gently dissuade your child from expressing negative behavior. Just because the boys are young doesn’t mean that you should tolerate their tantrums, for example. This is especially frequent in first-time parents who will sometimes pamper their children too much.
Rules. Once your boys enter the teenage years, start setting particular rules around the house. Make sure that you keep the rules nice and neat. Too many rules will choke anyone, especially teenage rules. Just make sure that you keep the basics covered and that you implement the rules strictly but humanely. When formulating your rules, make sure that you factor in your teenage boy’s point of view. What will he think of the rules, and what will your answer be when he challenges or questions the rules? Remember that teenagers have a mind of their own, and saying no is not enough even if you are the parent. This means that your rules must be logical. You cannot keep your teenage boy pent up in the house all day long just because you want to.
Explanations. Once you have made a rule, make sure that you talk to your child about it. This will enable you to hear your own child’s opinion about the rule. For the teenager, this is also an excellent time to bargain with you about the rules. Again, bargaining is the best way to ensure that your rules will be followed and that your teenage boys will be happy to follow the rules. Allowing your children to bargain with you does not mean that you do not have authority. On the contrary, it means that you are ensuring your authority, since rules that have been made with the boys are usually more realistic and are more likely to be kept and respected.
Listening. Keep in mind that teenage boys may be going through their own personal conflicts as they try to find out who they are and what they want to do with their lives. Because of this, you should keep open lines of communication between you and your boys. Even before the teenager years, be sure to talk as much as possible with your boys. Once the teenage years come, do your best to maintain the open relationship between you and your teens. Be genuinely interested about their likes and dislikes, and what is happening in their lives. This will ensure that you and your teen will be able to bond and not drift apart.
Finally, be sure to show your teenager much love and affection. No matter how rebellious a teenage boy can be at times, he is still your son and you are still his parent. No matter how much he hides it, he still expects you to love him and he still loves you.