It's a hard fact of life - there ARE cheaters in relationships. Sometimes we hate to admit it, but we start having that nagging, uncomfortable suspicion that our partner might not be as honest to us as we might want them to be. It's more difficult to admit, however, that we have been cheated, once we find out the truth, that he is indeed, one hell of a cheater.
So how do you detect a potential cheater? What are the signs and symptoms to look out for? Knowing these things can help us bail out of a potentially harmful situation - a messy relationship that can break our heart into a million pieces - while it's still early.
- Trust your intuition, your instincts. People generally do not start having suspicions unless there are reasons for doing so. We sense changes in attitude or in our partner's daily patterns, and these start giving us the relationship creeps. However, if you're the kind of person who is jealous and paranoid all the time, this tip might not work for you too well. You might be seeing cheating ghosts where there are none.
- Know your partner's romantic history. If he confesses to having cheated before, chances are, he might do it again. Don't make the mistake of thinking that there's something about you that would stop him from cheating again. It's not about you, it's completely about him. Be ready for the possibility that he won't be capable of getting over his old habits.
- Observe your partner when you're out with other people. If his roving eyes wander around too much, you might be in trouble. It's one thing to appreciate other people, but it's a totally different thing if he does it all the time. Observe also if he still flirts around with other women. This does not necessarily mean that he's already cheating, but it sure provides the possibility that he won't mind getting involved with someone else.
- Your partner could also be a cheater if he doesn't introduce you to his group of friends, or worse, to his family. He could have some skeletons in his closet that he wants to keep hidden from you, that's why he doesn't want you to know any of his family or friends. Worse still, YOU could be the skeleton in the closet, which he's trying to hide from THEM. This says a lot about his devotion - or lack thereof - to you.
- Communication lapses are also good indicators of potential cheating behavior. Have you ever experienced talking to your partner over the phone and feeling as if you're talking to a totally different person? Does he seem evasive when you ask him about certain details? Does he change the topic to some other one that would draw attention away from his activities? These actions should make that warning bell in your head go off.
- Disappearing acts are favorites of cheaters, too. Now you may see him, next moment, you don't. When you ask him where he's been, he'll just shrug the question off and act all lovey-dovey to you.
The trick to recognizing a potential cheater in a relationship is to be vigilant and observant all the time, without giving him a hint that you're on to him. Once you've satisfied yourself that he's a cheater, you should know where he's going--out of the door. Good luck to you, Sherlock Holmes!