Accepting the reality that you are in an abusive relationship is hard, because you always tell yourself that he loves you so much. It's sometimes hard to know for yourself whether a relationship is abusive, but there are signs and conditions that can tell you if you are in an abusive relationship:
- Your partner hits you in any part of your body
- Your partner kicks you in the face or in any part of your body
- Your partner elbows you, or uses any other part of his body to hurt you
You should not make excuses or explanations for why he did that to you. If he loves you, you should not be hurt even if you make mistakes.
- If he mocks you in front of other people
- If he bangs the phone down even if you are not yet finished talking
- If he uses foul language when talking to you
- If he does not treat you with respect, with or without other people around
- If you are giving and giving without taking
- If you are treated like an assistant or as a housemaid
- If he is just using you
- If he doesn't want you to mingle with other people
The above criteria tell you that you are in an abusive relationship, and it's time to get out. Here are the steps you ought to know:
- Talk things out first. He might have no idea at all about what you are going through. Maybe his environment was so full of abuse that he is used to giving and receiving abuse. If he is willing to change, you can give him a chance. But only one chance should be given to abusive people. Forgiving twice is dangerous.
- Go out and meet your friends. Always remember that they are the people who love and care for you. Listen to them. They won't harm you but will give you new perspectives in life. Be open and absorb their inspiring messages. If you do not have friends other than him, go to your church.
- Try for a week to live your life without him, and explore the world around you. You might have neglected some of your loved ones because of your focus on your partner. You might also have put off some work or hobbies you've always wanted to do.
- Enjoy your day alone. Do not make plans at all. See where the road will take you and enjoy.
- Meditate and try to understand yourself and whether you really want to be with that person for a lifetime.
- Realize that it is all right to sacrifice for the one you love as long as there is compromise. He must also have sacrifices to do for you.
- After all the soul searching and independent trips, it is time to decide. Is that abusive person worthy of your love? If not, please let go of this person. Do not be afraid to be single again. It will be better that way, better than being with someone who has a habit of abusing you.
- Prepare for the worst when you confront him. You must not be emotional when talking to him for the last time. Use your mind and not your heart.