I remember once that I went to a friend's party at his house. Everybody was having a great time when suddenly my eyes couldn't believe what they were seeing: The most handsome and attractive guy of the party standing in front of me. It took me a few seconds and some questions to my friends and I already knew he was single, had a wonderful job and a great personality. In short, he was the dream man. From time to time he was looking at me, but I was feeling completely insecure that I wouldn't be his type of girl. Even though all my friends were cheering me up to look at him and do something, I was really nervous.
Then I noticed he was looking in another direction, not at me! He was looking at another girl whom I considered to be less pretty than me. She was wearing the same dress that I had seen earlier in the mall but decided not to buy since it made me look fat; however, on her, it was perfect. Without being the most beautiful girl of the party, she had something. She was smiling all the time and grabbing her wine glass with so much class; she had beautiful hair and not only was he looking at her, most guys at the party were attracted by her inner bombshell. She knew what looked good on her, how to move, and how to smile; everybody admired that.
I consider it is healthy to compare yourself to others when you can use this information to help yourself feel better. I am not talking about looking at the negative side of others. What I mean is learning to incorporate helpful tips into the way you look. For example, remember the girl from the party? She was using a soft make-up that made her smile stand out. I really wanted to try the same on myself.
So, here is the thing: How do you release your inner bombshell? I was so intrigued that I started to talk with all the girls I knew who do not exactly match the so-called beauty standards but have dated and are in relationships with the most handsome and intelligent men. I even interviewed some models for some local magazines and here, in a nutshell, are their tips on how to release your inner bombshell:
- Pamper yourself: Whenever you have a free afternoon, no work, no obligations, take this time to spoil yourself. A good shower, a manicure and pedicure, a mask for your skin, a good treatment for your hair, maybe an appointment to get a massage, go for a walk (or any other activity you enjoy). You will feel renewed, refreshed and happy and you will project these feelings to others.
- Try a new make-up style: It doesn't matter how many times you have to wash your face and do it again. The important thing is that you can test new colors and styles (try different looks such as elegant at night, natural during the day, funky for a nightclub). Grab a magazine and copy some of those models' make-ups and choose those that make you look nice.
- Be your own hairdresser: Instead of wasting money going to the hairdresser and leaving with a hairstyle you are not convinced that you even like, try it at home. Pull all your hair up, or smooth it with the dryer, put some curlers in or some mousse. You will be surprised at the number of ways your hair looks good on you.
- Get more (and new) dress styles: It is time to open your mind and stop looking at yourself the same way you have always done. Go to a store and try all sorts of clothes on yourself. First, go alone, since maybe you can be a little bit shy even in front of your best friend. This is your opportunity to try on all the styles you never thought to try before. Be honest, look at yourself the way you look at a famous actress, your neighbor, or a complete stranger, and judge yourself with eyes that say, "That girl over there (in the mirror) has great style" or "What a ridiculous girl, wearing that!" Now, you have one new dress style? Maybe two or three? Hey, one is never enough. It is not like you have to own only one style. Your inner bombshell could actually be in more than one dress style since you have many different things to show off about yourself.
- Choose the best parts of your body: I always put myself in front of the mirror and try to note what parts of my body I really like and which ones I don't. I look at my lips, my legs, my arms, my abdomen, my bust. I observe every detail of my body. I know I have some things that I don't really like. My hips, according to me, are huge (I know I am exaggerating), but I do like my arms, my eyes, my back and I try to highlight and bring them out using blouses with no sleeves, maybe a little bit tied in the back, and nice colors for my eyes (which give me an attractive expression).
- Take pictures of yourself: Grab your camera and make an appointment with your inner photographer. Yes, YOU! I am really shy about posing in front of others like real models do, so I take my cam and start shooting myself in different poses. I shoot one side of my face, the other one, one from the front, another from above, smiling, serious, thoughtful, in all imaginable ways. In the end, I choose all those pictures where I like myself and when I am sure of those I have selected, I ask for a second opinion from my best friend, mother, sister, even my brother. Accept their points of view also. You are asking their opinion only to select the cream of the crop from these photos. Now you know your best poses: Next time in a photo with your friends, pick the pose you prefer!
- Learn to draw attention when you dance: Play your favorite music at home and dance, dance, dance for however long you want. Put a mirror in front of you. Practice all those steps you know and invent new ones until you like yourself. A good friend of mine recommended this. She is an aerobics instructor in one of the most prestigious gyms of the city and takes at least 20 minutes a day to play her favorite music and practice the new movements for the discotheque (not for her class). She says it is wonderful to feel the music inside and let your body go with the sounds. She feels sexy and you can be sure that everybody wants to dance with her. I have started to practice it; however, it is hard to release our apprehension about believing that we have do it perfectly.
- Appreciate; Do not envy: If you think that something looks good on another - a hat, a dress style, make-up - go and try it on you. First of all, it is not envy or jealousy. It is just that you admire the style and think that maybe you think it will look good on you, too. But you are unique. You can take one idea from the world around you and fit it to yourself. The only thing you cannot pretend is to be exactly like anyone else.
Practicing all these points will let you notice how important you are because you will learn to showcase the best of you. You have wonderful things inside and outside that nobody knew before because you had not discovered them yourself yet. In the end, it is YOU who decides what makes you feel sexy, attractive and charming. You can get some help asking your closest friends for an opinion, but if you don't bring your inner bombshell out, no one will do it for you. Be confident! You can have the world in the palm of your hands as long as you believe in yourself.
And, do you still remember the girl in the party that I mentioned at the beginning of this article? Well, she is one of my best friends today, is the biggest contributor to this article, and is married to that guy from that same party! They are happy together and I am happy for them.