Some people are more prone to addiction than others. If you find your spouse addicted to something, you need to take action and prevent it from ruining the marriage. Whether the addiction is centered on drugs, alcohol, or anything else in between, acting quickly is key. Here's how you can save your marriage in the face of addiction problems.
Identify. The first step is to identify exactly what your spouse is addicted to. Sometimes, realizing that your spouse is addicted can be difficult. A lot of couples think that the other is only changing slowly or that the other spouse is simply dealing with pressure from work or the family. You need to be alert in order to determine whether that glass of wine is alcoholism or simply a way to wind down after a long day at work.
Honesty. Once you have identified the problem, the both of you need to be honest about it. If you are the person with an addiction, you should take steps to accepting that you have an addiction. This can be very difficult, especially since most addicts always start out with the idea that they have their addiction under control. Only by realizing that you are an addict, however, will you be able to treat your addiction. If you are the one who has discovered that your spouse has an addiction problem, however, you should be honest enough to face the problem. The problem will not go away otherwise.
Intervention. Next, consider setting up an intervention. Remember, however, that you need to be careful when planning interventions. The classic intervention involves friends and family members to help support and show the addict his problem. Some people, however, will only pull off even more when a large number of people suddenly start ‘getting on his case.' Be careful and make sure that you undertake the intervention as gently as possible. Remember that the goal is to help the person, and not to alienate him or to make him feel ashamed. Make sure that the other person realizes that you and the rest of family and friends in the intervention are all there to show sympathy and support, and not judgment.
Counseling. Addictions are never easy to break. Once the habit has been formed, the addict will being structuring his days and his tasks in relation to his addiction. He may even begin to change his life views and life goals just to fit the addiction in the picture. Because of the strength of addiction, it is best if you have a counselor to help you deal with the problem. A counselor is a professional who has been trained with dealing with problems such as addiction, and should not be considered as a stigma to be avoided.
Finally, make sure that you maintain open lines of communication between you and your spouse. In the face of an addiction, it is easy to feel frustrated, defenseless, bitter, and even angry. However, remember that you need to be supportive and sympathetic instead. Quarrelling with your partner at this point may only draw him closer to his addiction.