It has been a long standing problem for women when their boyfriends become incommunicado. Most of the time, the boyfriend's response is very limited to either yes or no, especially when he is watching his favorite sport or doing something he loves doing. This is just the way they are. But even if that is the case, practicing the skill of starting a conversation with your boyfriend will get you to start talking to him and get answers other than a yes or a neigh.
Try these simple tactics and you will soon be an expert in getting him in to healthy, loving conversations.
- Start with small talk. Small talk often involves usually open-ended questions. Asking him what he had for lunch, how his meeting was, how's the traffic on his way home. These are good starters. Whatever his answers are not really that important. This means that you are trying to connect with him, that you are interested to know more about what happened with his day. Knowing how to handle small talks lead to conversations.
- Even if his answer to your small talk question does not matter, take note of it and make that a lead to your next question. If he says that he had sausages, bring up another significant topic like telling him that you just found out that your friend's new boyfriend is a vegetarian. This usually leads to the pros and cons of vegetarianism and will lead him to discuss his concept of the topic.
- This is where you should be getting at the heart of the conversation. A conversation that should not put your relationship on the line though. Always remember that you are just trying to exchange ideas, musings and points of view and not trying to get into a debate. Remember also that men have this idea that they are talking about their feelings when they talk about simple things. Your object is to try and get him talk to you comfortably and without inhibitions. Once he gets comfortable with you, he should be the one to start conversations and talk about more profound issues comfortably.
- Moments of silence are also healthy during conversations. You don't have to have reactions on everything he says. You can try to have a brief moment of silence before starting just about any topic. You don't exactly have to think about a topic. Let the moment run its own course and you will see how any topic will just come out of free association.
- If there is something that you want to talk about your relationship, be direct about it. Saying something like, "I need to talk to you about something" should start it right away. Men are normally not very much into sharing but if he is already comfortable about having conversations with you, he will respect your feelings and your need to vent out things that you feel are not doing any good with you or your relationship.
The art of having a good conversation with your boyfriend does not happen overnight. You both need time to learn more about each other. Once you both discovered each other, conversations should come out naturally whether it is something as casual as what you had for lunch or as serious as something that is not working on your relationship.