Flirting may be part of your boyfriend's communication pattern. If it is there may be little you can do to change him. However, if you want to try to stop your boyfriend from flirting, or keep him from excessive behavior, consider following these steps.
- Pay attention to when he flirts. Does your guy only flirt with other girls when you are fighting? Does he do it to upset you? Or is flirting how he communicates? You need to pay attention to when and where he flirts with. If flirting is how he relates, you should consider why you are trying to change something fundamental to his personality.
- Tell him it hurts you. If your boyfriend flirts to make you jealous or to get your attention after a fight, you need to be honest with him. Tell him that his flirting hurts you. Then remind him that trying to make you jealous is not helping your relationship. Playing games is rarely beneficial for couples.
- Keep your jealousy in check. If the green monster is getting out of control, you need to rein it in. Often jealousy is more about you than the guy. Remember if flirty smiles and small touches is how he communicates then he is not flirting because he wants the other girl more than he wants you; he is just being himself. If you fell for him because of who he is, don't try to change him because you can't control your insecurities enough to give up the jealousy.
- Record his flirting. If your boyfriend's flirting pattern has changed or you are concerned he is pulling away, try something radical. When the guy doesn't realize he is flirting, consider a way to let him know. The next time you are out together and he begins flirting with someone else, get your camera phone out and take a photo or record a video of his flirting. The visual might help him realize he is being rude when he flirts with someone else while out with you.
- Get his attention. Sometimes guys are oblivious. It is not intentional or about you, they just might not be paying attention. So get his attention by sitting him down and having a conversation. You might also try a bit of flirting on your own. The next time you are out and your boyfriend gets distracted flirting with another girl, turn your attention and smile in another direction. Be aware that this type of game playing will get his attention but it might also start him walking out the door and away from you. Take this risk only if there is no other option.
- Learn to accept. This last step may be your best especially if none of the others work and you want the relationship to last. Flirting may just be his idea of communicating and as a part of his personality, accepting him is part of loving him. If you can accept, you might just stop being jealous and start appreciating him.
By following these steps, you might be able to stop your boyfriend from flirting. Or you might end up losing the guy due to your jealous tendencies. Tread carefully and you might get to keep the guy and calm his flirting behavior.