Years of being in a relationship may make the romance fade and both of you end up going through the motions day by day. You get too familiar with each other on all aspects even during sexual intercourse, that the excitement of lovemaking turns into a routine exercise that you need to do a couple of times a week (or a month if it gets worse). This is not the objective of a romantic relationship and of marriage. In fact, as you grow old together, your relationship should grow as well, and your intimacy should develop deeper and have more meaning as the years pass. Of course, with age comes the inconveniences of not having a high libido, or the challenges that comes with menopause, or erectile dysfunction – the list goes on. But a romantic relationship is not only about having good sex, but intimacy in other forms as well.
So if you find yourself in a situation where the passion and the heat have faded away, then take the time to talk to your partner about how to rekindle your romance to keep the relationship going to more meaningful heights.
- Study your partner, like the way you observed and took mental notes of what she wanted to eat, how she wanted to be treated when dining out – whatever pleases your partner. During the first months and years of the relationship, both of you would be very observant and you end up doing things your partner wants. Remember how exciting it was then? Maybe the years have made you too familiar with each other, but there may be some things you have overlooked or taken for granted. Take this opportunity to observe and learn like being in a new relationship.
- Make it not just about you, but about your partner as well. Most people only think about their rights in a relationship, and how they are entitled to respect and service. If you are in this situation, then it is time to think in a different way, and be the giver rather than just the receiver. Start by asking if your partner needs anything, or if you are still having intimate moments that lack passion, you can ask what you can do to make thing exciting. Just make sure you do the asking in a gentle, loving manner to avoid conflict.
- Start an open conversation. It is best to talk about your relationship while both of you are in a good mood, without any distractions, and keep an open mind. There may be some past issues that need to be resolved, and it is a good time to start patching things up. This open conversation may not solve the issues in one sitting, so you can work on it and keep the communication open. There may be some past hurts that you have not gotten over with and you need to build trust and respect from scratch. It is very challenging, but just remember that all the effort will be worth it once the spark becomes a big flame of love and passion once again.