How To Tell If It's Love or Just Lust

Many people, especially young ones, confuse love with lust. When they meet someone hot, they feel a sense of yearning and an intense feeling of desire to be together with that person no matter what the consequences are. Having in his mind a beautiful woman he recently met at a party, a guy cannot sleep at nights. Thinking of her every time, he even loses his appetite for food and is listless, restless and excited for no reason at all. The wrong button is pressed as he thinks it is love that he feels when in fact it is lust.

Love is complex. It evolves from a very deep emotion. Just because you caught an eye for a lovely woman with long flowing hair at the counter of a department store does not mean you are already in love. In the same way that feeling an electrifying sensation when you touch the hand of your seatmate in class cannot be considered as love. To say you have fallen in love at first sight is a joke. No one falls in love in an instant. Love is developed. Love grows and love should be nurtured like a plant in order to bloom. Hence, if you think you have fallen in love at a first meeting, examine your thoughts and feelings well, because it might be lust you are experiencing, not love.

Here are indications that differentiate love from lust.

  • Lust is like an ember that dies shortly. It passes away when you have satisfied the call of the flesh. It vanishes after a few carnal encounters. It is gone when physical contact is gratified.
  • In lust, you find you hardly have any common interest other than sex. You are attracted to him or her because of physical attributes. He likes her because of her curvy frame; she adores him because of the penetrating and overpowering look in his eyes.
  • Love offers so much more than lust. Love is not about what meets the eye. He loves her not because she has smooth and flawless skin but because of her kindness, compassion and caring for animals. On the other hand, she loves him not for his tall and dark frame but because of the security and sense of protection that she feels whenever he is around.
  • Love is not born overnight. It has to be cultivated in order to thrive. It entails sacrifice, sincerity, commitment and loyalty. Love is built on earned trust. But this trust is not simply promising your fidelity to the person you love. This trust should be proven in order for it to be deserved.

But love and lust can also go together. There are situations when love is born out of lust and vice versa. In a relationship, when love and lust are combined, there is more excitement and thrill because you love a person as much as you lust for him or her. But you have to consider your feelings with caution, because you might be disillusioned. Never mistake lust for love or you run the risk of hurting other people. The most painful part in a relationship is to make someone hope you love him or her, though deep inside what you have is just a momentary lust.


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