How To Turn Someone Down

It's never easy to turn someone down, but sometimes you just have to. You don't want to overload yourself with too many commitments and you also don't want to agree to something that you really don't want to be involved with. Whether you need to turn down a blind date, a nagging boss or a needy friend, knowing how to turn someone down is a skill that everyone should have. Follow these steps to learn how to turn someone down.

Step 1

Be honest. The best way to turn someone down is to be honest with him. Explain that you're really not interested in him, that you don't really enjoy coaching little league and that you're really not the best at cooking 20 pies for the church bake sale. As hard as it will be, you need to stand your ground when you turn someone down. Don't let him try to convince you (and oh, he will)! Instead, make a comment like "I am really firm in my decision here. I'm sorry, but I'm not able to". Even though people will likely be disappointed, they should at least appreciate your honestly.

Step 2

Avoid the question. If you're not brave enough to tell the person directly, you can always turn him down by giving him a ‘hint'. Avoid the question, don't return his emails and steer clear of him until he gives up. This may not look very good on you, but in a desperate situation, this works.

Step 3

Laugh it off. When someone asks you for something, you can always turn him down by treating it as a joke. You might say, "Ha ha ha. You're not serious are you? That would be hilarious if I actually did try to {insert your friend's request here}." After this response, your friend will probably be too embarrassed (or insulted) to ask again. Although you may lose brownie points with this approach, it will likely get you out of a few favors.

Step 4

Plead incapability.  When you want to turn someone down, it's always good to explain why you're not the best person for the job. Don't make it seem like you're begging them to ask someone else. Instead, just tell them how bad it would be if you were in that situation. You might say, "I'm the worst babysitter ever. In fact, I once lost my little brother for three days. My mom was not happy". Your inabilities may lead your friends to ask a more appropriate victim.  

Step 5

You may need to lie, just a little.  If every one of your attempts to turn someone down has failed up until this point, you may be left with no choice but to lie to the person. Don't make up a lie so grandiose that there's no way it will pass off as realistic. Just come up with the smallest white lie that will get you out of the commitment. Try "I don't think my husband would approve" with an insistent guy asking you out on a date. Or for a neighbor who doesn't return tools, reply "sorry Ted. It's actually my father-in-law's tool and he's not good with me lending it out". You don't want your lie to be obvious or to make you seem unreliable. But a little one may be necessary if you've got no other way to turn someone down.


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there are always ways to turn someone down IN A NICE WAY. you can also make polite suggestions to the person you're turning down. this little help would compromise.

By Anonymous