Sometimes you just have to say no. Doing so might be harder for you than the person you have to say no to. If you have trouble saying no and need a little help turning someone down, then there is a little help. Whether you want to turn down a date, a job or a volunteer project, the steps are similar. Follow these tips and you can turn someone down without hurt feelings.
- Know your own mind. Before saying no you need to be sure. If you are hesitant or need some time to consider your decision, then ask for a moment or two before you answer. You don't want to say no then regret it an hour or day later.
- Consider the feelings involved. Feelings include your own and the person making an offer. If a man is asking you out for the first time, consider the effort and courage it took for him to approach you. Ask yourself if he is the type who asks everyone of if he is genuinely interested in getting to know you. The answer might change your mind. If you still want to say no, move to the next step.
- Provide a brief but concise answer. When turning someone down you can offer a simple "No thank-you" and be done. If you want you can add in an "I'm not interested" or an "I'm sorry but I cannot help you". If this answer isn't enough for the person asking, you might just have to say no and leave it at that. A brief answer lessens the chances of being misunderstood and will give the asker a clear understanding of whether they should ask again in the future.
- Avoid offering excuses. Excuses only upset everyone. Don't lie or make excuses. If you are in a relationship already, you might tell the asker that you are already attached but it is not necessary. When saying no for other reasons, you might feel tempted to make up excuses such as a previous engagement for your work, church or with family. Making excuses tempts you to lie and lies are hard to keep straight once you start tossing them around.
Saying no is uncomfortable for most of us because we hate having to turn anyone down. Even if you don't take pleasure in dashing someone's dreams, you don't have to say yes to everyone who asks for some of your time or interest. By following these steps, you can turn someone down without crushing or hurting the other person.