How To Use a Vibrator

So, you, girl, are alone and feeling frisky one cold summer night. You don’t feel like going out--you are just in the mood to feel good. You reach for the phone to give somebody a booty call but there is one small problem. You don’t have a man handy.  He is either not available tonight, he could be either away from town, in a business meeting or just is plain stupid. The other reason for not getting laid is not having a man at all.

No need to worry. In this electronic world, all you need a man for would be to open a jar of pickles. There are several tools you can use to satisfy your sexual desires. There is Howard Stern’s Sybian. I have also heard about the gizmo called the orgasmatron, but one thing remains the classic and standard weapon of choice--the vibrator.

Whoever invented this amazing piece of engineering must be a freaking genius. However you don’t have to be a genius to use this. If you haven’t figured it out by yourself yet, follow these simple steps and be on your way to an amazing ride.

1. Get yourself and the vibrator ready. Now that you have a vibrator at hand, it is time to prep it to suit you. Start by warming the machine up. Metal vibrators can get cold in storage. Vibrators aren’t ice cubes so better wrap it with a warm towel. This should heat it up nicely. If you don’t like the hassle of it, you can just place it under a pillow to get it just the right temperature. After your vibrator is ready, it is now time to get yourself in the mood. Putting on sexy music works well. If you like scented candles, might as well light some. Imagine you are with some really hot guy and think about what you want to do with him. Now that you are in the right frame of mind, proceed to the next step.
2. Enjoy the prelude. Now that your mind is thinking about sex and not about the gadget you are using, find a comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed. Lie on your back and turn your vibrator. Feel its vibrations across your body. Start with your neck and work it around your breasts. Focus on the feeling as the vibration runs through your body. Move lower and lower but don’t go to the vagina just yet. Pass over your delicates and concentrate on the inner thighs. The vibration will feel like it is shooting towards your vagina. Build up anticipation and try not to touch the vagina as long as you can. When you can no longer contain yourself, proceed to the next step.
3. Now, it is time for the main event. After you work your body, it's now the turn of your vagina. Start slowly by running the vibrator over the outer labia. Relax! The vibrations should feel great over it. After you have warmed up to it, slide it a little bit until your feel the clitoris. Try to vary the speed and pressure to the technique that gives you the most stimulation. For most women, this is enough to orgasm. If you want more, then try massaging your G-spot with your new best friend and the result is just explosive.

After that resounding orgasm, you will forget Whatshisname’s number. No more need for booty calls at two in the morning. When you don’t have two to tango, one is the perfect number.  A Barry White CD coupled with the love of a vibrator equals a night that you’ll never sleep through.