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Here are some tips to winning an argument and gaining a friend or an ally at the same time.

To truly win an argument you need to learn how to get what you want without ostracising the other person involved. By convincing your opponent that the outcome you desire would actually be best for them too, you can win friends and helpful allies at the same time as winning.

Step 1:

Begin by listening to your opponent's point of view before you attempt to put your own argument across. This will let your opponent know that you respect him/her, and that you are interested in their opinion.

Try not to interrupt. Give them quality time and you will find that they become more receptive to you when it is finally your turn to speak. This is because they will be free to listen to you, rather than desperately wanting to let you know what is on their mind.

Step 2:

When you speak, take your time to be clear and concise. Make sure that you think before you express your opinion, and that you know precisely what your intended outcome is.

Doing so will mean that you express yourself well, and that you leave no room for confusion and misunderstanding.

Step 3:

Now you need to explain to your opponent how your argument will benefit them. To do this, mentally step into their shoes and imagine what things would be like if you won your argument, not from your own point of view, but from theirs.

Although it is likely that what you desire for yourself is prominent in your mind, there will, no doubt, be an effect for your opponent if you win, whether that be that they have to change a lifelong viewpoint, or think of matters in a different way than usual.

By using your imagination creatively you may be able to convince them that what is good for you will also be good for them.

Step 4:

It is important for you to think of an immediate benefit for your opponent if you win your argument. For example, if you want to persuade your boss to give you a pay raise, and he/she isn't keen on it, let them know that you have an extra skill which you can bring into force in the workplace which will improve how much they value you as an employee.

This will show that you are trying to establish a win/win situation, rather than just trying to take all that you can get.

Step 5:

If you haven't already won your argument by step four, then it is time to negotiate. Find out what it would take to change your opponent's point of view.

It may be that you can appeal to their reasoning by framing your argument in such a way that it fits in with how they see the world.

For example, if your opponent is a pacifist, try using this information to show how your argument works in with creating peace and harmony.

As you practice the art of winning arguments you will discover that doing so becomes easier and easier. Always keep in mind the value of getting what you want at the same time as making your opponent feel as though they have won too.

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