"If you have ever known a mother of the groom, then you know that there is no single member of the wedding party who feels as confused and anxious about what she should be wearing," says Sarah Dryden, a bridal shop owner in Maryland. "Not even the bride worries about her dress as much as the mother of the groom. I think for a lot of mothers it's been a long time since they had to shop for a formal dress and the pressure of being professionally photographed really makes them worry."
Shopping for a dress to wear at your son's wedding should not induce nausea and headaches! Unlike the mother of bride, who in some families actually considers the wedding day to be "her day," the mother of the groom is often a little left out in terms of wedding planning. But never fear. Any perceived slight is usually unintentional as the bride has not forgotten about you; she is merely more preoccupied with planning every little detail of the wedding.
So long as you remember a couple of key rules of shopping for the mother of groom dresses, everything will go just fine. Here are a few to get you started:
- Talk to the bride first. Every bride is different. Some are laid back and could care less what you wear and others are extremely specific in terms of color, style, etc. of your wedding attire. Find out the basics from the brides. What a great way to bond with your future daughter in law! Time of year, color, themes, and overall feel (casual vs. formal) are all important things to know before you shop for a dress. You want to find out what her mother plans to wear. The idea is to complement each other without duplicating a look too closely. That may also include finding out what wedding clothing a stepmother will be wearing as well. And remember to offer your feedback to the bride about gowns that you see. Your opinion on what looks and feels good on your should also be taken into consideration.
- Make comfort a priority. You will thank me for this one. Comfort goes a long way towards looking good. You can have a great dress, but if you are not comfortable in it, it will show. On top of that, you'll be miserable. So, if you don't like your legs, wear a long dress. Don't feel like you can't because the mother of the bride is wearing a knee length dress. You do not have to match, just complement each other.
- Plan ahead and shop early. Keep in mind that many bridal shops will special order mother of the groom dresses for weddings but they take between three to six months to get in. You also want to give yourself plenty of time to see your options without feeling rushed. Once you find the perfect dress you can relax and look forward to the big day.