Infertility is defined as a condition where a woman cannot produce good eggs to meet the sperm of her partner in order to form into a baby. Although there is research on the causes of infertility and how they can be treated, still more women, especially those who are past 30 years old, worry that they may not be able to produce a baby. They become sensitive and defensive, thinking that people talk about their inability to give happiness to their husbands.
A woman dealing with an infertility problem should be treated differently from women friends whose wombs easily get pregnant.
If one of your friends cannot bear a child for some reason, while you and your other circle of friends have children, empathize with her by not showing too much happiness and pride with the number of children or number of births you have given. You can announce to her in a low-key fashion rather than feel guilty for her because you can be pregnant when she cannot.
You can say that if this infertile woman is your friend, she can be happy for you when you tell her of your pregnancy. She can be supportive although it may be hard to accept on her part. But this is a big "if." You can also show your support in her fight of infertility. When you notice that your friend became quiet whenever you talk about your baby or your pregnancy, stop it and change the conversation topic. Avoid baby talking even if you have your baby with you.
Even if your friend is infertile she still deserves honesty. Be honest in telling her that you are again pregnant, but still on a low-key fashion, rather than with a thrill. Avoid whispers and changing the topic when your friend is around. She may be very sensitive but if told the truth honestly, she could be happy for you as a friend.
Do not tell your infertile friend about pregnancy symptoms. Do not complain to her because she may multiply her sadness, pity, and sometimes hatred to herself. Pull away from her and allow your neutral friend to announce to her your pregnancy. If your infertile friend is really a true friend, she will be happy for you eventually.
Even if you are experiencing morning sickness, drowsiness, sluggishness related to your conception, do not tell your infertile friend about it. This will be very painful to her. She may think that she is useless and may need some time to recover her sanity.
What if you are the infertile friend, how would you expect your friends to treat you? You would not pretend to fake a happy face when you receive news that your friends are pregnant, while you are still struggling with medicines from your obstetrician. You could cry with a neutral friend so you would not offend your pregnant friends. You could pull away from them and they will understand.
Infertility is a sensitive issue that needs to be handled with attention.
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