How To Justify Expensive Jeans

So you need to justify your purchase of--well, let's just call them "expensive"--jeans. You'll need to tweak your message depending on your audience, but here are a few tips to get you started:

  1. Know when to fold 'em. Certain generations are just never going to get it. Anyone who lived through the Depression, for example, is not going to be able to wrap his or her mind around the idea of spending several hundred dollars on a pair of jeans. They visualize those dollars in terms of food, and your mostly debrided pile of denim does not compare well with the rows upon rows of fresh gleaming apples and hanging racks of beef in their heads. So don't even go there. If it's your boyfriend who wants to know how much you spent on your jeans, just tell him "$100 per pocket," and let him do the math. (Maybe he won't notice those double hip pockets.)
  2. Fashion statement. Just admit it: The jeans have absolutely nothing to do with practicality and everything to do with expressing yourself. This way you won't be pulled into arguments about the point of acid-washing and/or mechanical abrasion. If it's your parents that you're using the fashion statement argument on, they're going to ask, "And just what statement might that be? Welcome to my gluteus maximus?!," so be sure to have a rejoinder on hand. Even parents should know by now that jeans are fundamental building blocks of any wardrobe (especially a trend-savvy one like yours), and you'll need several good pairs so as to best express your fashion statement du jour.
  3. Flattering fit. The low-rise styles that are popular now make even a slender girl look like she has a nice big bam-bam. (Boy, I could have used a pair of these in high school.) Jennifer Lopez on the other hand? Definite overkill! But anyway, let's admit it: The flattering fit is worth the big bucks. Show me a woman who wouldn't pay good money to have her backside appreciated!
  4. When parents are in the picture. If your parents are the ones you need to convince, try this trick. Find some old photos of them from the sixties or seventies (they may be well-concealed). Chances are you'll find pictures of your mother in miniskirts and hip-huggers and your father in bell-bottoms and lots of tie dye. If you're lucky, you'll hit the jackpot: Your mother in white go-go boots and your father in a velvet jacket. Put these photos together in a small montage: Really, what can they say? They spent good money on these items, which were far from practical. They'll probably just be relieved that the crochet dress is not back in style (yet).

Hopefully it's only yourself that needs convincing. If that's the case, remember, you're worth it!


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