Fears can be healthy – they can help people from doing dangerous and life threatening actions. When left unchecked, however, fears can also be debilitating and can keep you from fulfilling your potential. Just as children have boogeymen and other creatures of the night, adults can also have their own fears that can keep them wide awake at night – such as fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of relationships, and many others. Here’s how you can break down your fears and become a more effective person.
Analyze the fear. The first step to breaking down your fears is by looking at the specific fears and assessing exactly what component of the situation or action haunts you. For example, you can trace your fear of relationships and commitment to the pain of being broken hearted and being left behind, or breaking someone’s heart because you find it difficult to commit to a relationship. Assess and analyze your fears carefully, so that you will be able to understand what approach you need to deal with the fear. In most cases, there is a logical explanation for the fears. If the fears are unmanageable, you should consult a psychiatrist that can provide treatment for your phobias.
Look for examples in other people. Next, look at other people and check how they handle the types of situations that you fear. You can either casually ask them about the fear during regular conversations, or you can set aside some special time to talk with a close friend about your fears. These sharing sessions will help you to contextualize your fears in relation to how other people are dealing with the fear. You can use the examples, which other people set to help you manage your life in spite of your fears.
Focus on the present. For more intimate types of fears such as fear of failure, you should learn to focus on the present. This will allow you to live without having to be controlled by fears. Most fears which normal adults have are fears that have something to do with the future. By living in the moment, you can prevent fears from the future from ruling your life.
Take small steps. Next, take small steps to deal with the fear. If you have personal fears like fears of commitment, try dating casually again but with intentions of longer relationships than the usual one night. If you have fears such as of airplanes and flying, you can begin by visiting the local airport a few minutes each week. These small steps will help you build up your confidence before the actual time when you will confront your fears. The small steps should be consciously programmed into your schedule, especially since there is a tendency to not prioritize these as a way of subconsciously avoiding facing your fears.
Confrontation. Finally, confront your fear. Whatever it is, face it head on once you have analyzed exactly why your fear is baseless, why the fear should be overcome, and after you have conditioned yourself through small steps.
Be sure that you have a friend or partner to help you through the confrontation, and who can give you the motivation and support needed to carry out the action plan. Through these steps, breaking down your fears and moving on with your life can be done.